Now and Zen

 Phil Jackson...Talent or Luck?

Phil Jackson has won eleven titles coaching the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers. He has earned the nickname "Zen Master" for his unique way of coaching, perfecting Tex Winter's Triangle Offensive and harnessing enigmatic personalities such as Dennis Rodman and the immortal Ron Artest.  He has never lost a first round playoff series after winning the first game and has been more successful in the past twenty years than the Harlem Globetrotters, Creed, and Lyle Lovett combined.

However, as the old saying goes, a coach is only as good as his players.  And for that matter, his players have been unprecedentally outstanding.  Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant, LUKE WALTON.  The first four were top five players in their respective primes ON THE SAME TEAM. It was as if Phil Jackson had rigged the fantasy draft on NBA Live so he could have the top two picks for the next twenty years.  Throw in some invaluable role players (Horace Grant, Rodman, Kukoc, Harper, the soulless Derek Fisher, etc.) and Jackson's teams were more powerful than Team Iceland from The Mighty Ducks II, and let me tell you, Phil Jackson is no Gordon Bombay.

No matter how fortunate Jackson has been his entire coaching career, I have considered Jackson to be just another cocky, media-manipulating public figure that I brushed aside, not unlike Lindsay Lohan.  That was until the Lakers faced off against the Rockets earlier this season.  Jackson was asked about Rudy Tomjanovich, Houston's fantastic coach during their back-to-back championship years in the mid-90's, and his chances on making the Hall of Fame.  From The Big Lead:

“We’ll see. I’m not on that committee. I like all the coaches to get a chance to go in.”

Jackson agreed with the argument that the Rockets’ championships were tainted because Michael Jordan was out of the league for the first of their title seasons and much of the next.

“Definitely,” Jackson said. “Without a doubt. Clearly, if the Bulls were whole, we would have won. It’s pretty much registered by now. When Michael played, we won the championship.”

Now, the rumor is that this was part of Jackon's "dry" sense of humor, but come on, this is coming from the same guy who wore a hat that proved his "dominance" over professional basketball after winning his tenth championship.  I have no problem with Jackson being in the Hall of Fame, he has earned it no matter how bitter I am that his team can pull off one-sided trades that change the entire makeup of the league.  But to even pretend to say that Rudy T doesn't deserve the Hall of Fame is like saying that Leif Garrett isn't perfect for Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Phil Jackson is a great coach who may very well go down as the greatest coach in NBA history...but do I think he is as talented as work-hard-and-stay-modest Spurs coach Gregg Popovich (someone who I have been trained to disdain as a Rockets fan)?  No way.  I'm pretty sure Charlie Kelly could show up high on paint and win at least six championships with Phil Jackson's talented teams.  Don't believe me?  Look at Mike Brown, who coached a team to the NBA Finals (not to mention eventually named Coach of the Year) purely because he gave the ball to LeBron and told everyone else to get out of the way.  But just like the fact that I think Cloverfield is one of the greatest movies of all-time, I know I am the minority on this one. 

(PS - Happy birthday to Nick, who can break as many windows in failed attempts to kill a hornets' nest as he wants today.)

-PB

Ty's Top Ten Life Regrets, Part II (and the introduction of the sub-top ten list)

Well I'm back. I believe I finished numero 5 in my last blog. I'm gonna take this part of the list to a new dimension, the sub-top ten list. I may be wandering down a dangerous road here, full of sub-sub and sub-sub-sub top ten lists but its ok cause I'm only a guest contributor, Ryan will be left to clean up in the aftermath.

4.) My childhood obsession with professional wrestling - While some of my favorite childhood memories consist of watching and then dangerously attempting to re-create professional wrestling, my steadfast defense of its legitimacy (probably until the age of 12) is the ultimate trump card against me in any argument. I can't count the times I presented what I thought to be an air-tight case against my parents' claims that pro wrestling was fake. I don't regret watching, only the blindness to its true nature, not sport (as I was convinced) but a glorious, half-horribly acted melodrama, half-freak show. So, here is the top ten list of my favorite childhood wrestlers:

1. Sting - c'mon
2. Macho Man Randy Savage
3. Lex Luger
4. The Undertaker
5. Hacksaw Jim Dugan
6. Rick Flair
7. The Giant
8. Booker T
   
9. Diamond Dallas Page
   
10. Kevin Nash
    

Side Note: One thing I do not regret: perusing the Wikipedia pages of said wrestlers. Do yourself a favor and meandor that way, just skip straight to the "personal life" section. Or, for a live-action, slightly less tragic experience, watch The Wrestler. Here's a gem from Ric Flair's page: "In September 2007, Flair opened a financial business called Ric Flair Finance. In July 2008, Ric Flair Finance filed for bankruptcy"

3.) Ok here is a list of the top ten jobs I wish I had. I'm not sure if there is one single regrettable decision that would lead to one job that I wish I had so I'm just gonna list them. Also, obviously I would rather be a professional athlete or some other ridiculously unobtainable jobs but I'm gonna restrict this sub list to things that I could conceivably (I'm using conceivably very loosely) have, given some change in my past, achieved.

1. Heir
   
2. Joel Mchale - This a job, right? Don't mind if I just make wise cracks about celebrities and reality TV (the Soup really writes itself), learn from Senor Chang and hang with Annie and Britta. I'm comin' for ya Joel, I'm taking your life as my profession...creepy but still...
   
3. Facebook/Google - I don't really know what people at Facebook or Google do, but it sounds awesome to say you work at Facebook, try it, also, and in no way can I back this up, but I'm pretty sure they wear flip flops and hoodies to work.
4. Member of an entourage - I should have been stalking potentially talented actors or pretty boys, then hitched my wagon and reap the benefits, thanks HBO and Mark Wahlberg for waiting so long to air this show
5. Sports announcer - Every guy feels like they could do a better job as a color commentator than whoever is currently commenting on whatever game they are watching. I am no different. If you're reading NBC, here are a few things I would bring to the table: the word bamboozle. This word should be used way more in announcing games..."Peterson takes the handoff, cuts rights and bamboozles the outside linebacker" or "Norv Turner with an absolutely bamboozling play call on the goal line" or even as an exclamation "3rd and long, Vick drops back...Peppers coming hard off the edge aaaanndd BAAAAAMMMMboozle!!! Peppers with the sack!!" Well...that's about all I would bring.
6. Radio Personality - Either music or sports. But especially sports, I would of course finagle my way into working with Michelle Beadle.
   
7. Producer or camera man on an MTV reality show - I would instigate so many things.
   
8. Blogger - someone pay me for writing this
   
9. Andy Richter - this is a job right? Being best friends with Conan?
10. Dunder Mifflin employee - I'll do anything, accounting with Kevin, sales with my buddy Jim, heck I'd even be on the road with Todd Packer. Of course, I'd feel bad about splitting up my friends Jim's marriage but whatever.
    

2.) My childhood was a great time for sports, Cowboys were dominant, Rockets won two championships, and I got spoiled. Since the mid-nineties I have had to watch my Houston teams and Aggies disappoint me. Sure there have been bright spots but I would love to have bought low, to become a fan of a team now surpassing all expectations or at least follow a team and watch them ascend the ranks. Here's the top ten:

1. Patriots - the patriots were terrible in the early nineties. They've had a little recent success. Also, I would totally drop my "R's" and say stuff like "Tauwm Brady is wicked awesome, he threw that bawl so frikkin' fah"
   
2. Oklahoma Thunder - So many good young, understated players. I think Smith is already on board with this one.
   
3. Clippers - Blake Griffin, and all the above reasons
   
4. Celtics - See Patriots above and add "Peeaahse and Rahndo! Gaahnett and Allen!"
5. Bosie/TCU - Not sure if they'll continue to be successful but the Oklahoma win alone would make it worth being a long-time Boise follower. I coulda won a lot of bets.
   
6. Florida - They were good back in the day too, but c'mon, two football and two basketball nat'l championships, sick. Although Joakim Noah would be tough to ever root for.
7. Rocky - Neither a team nor a real person but he was down and out in the nineties (see Rocky 5, don't actually view the movie though, maybe just imdb it) and when you never thought you'd see him in the ring again...BAAAAAMboozle!!! He's back and beating up Antonio Tarver.
8. The Mighty Ducks - if I could have become a fan of the script I could have ridden the wave all the way from potential movie, to hit movie to multiple sequels to actual sports team. Talk about getting in on the ground floor
9. Tampa Bay Devils Rays -the fact that they are about to suck and not still suck is huge.
10. Miami Heat - cause it'd be great to really be able to cheer for this team
    

1.) Trusting Ronnie...I know Sammi...you wanna believe him, but all he does is hurt us. (I apologize to non-shore watchers but this was a total cop-out list topper anyway so you'd be disappointed either way)

Top Five Christmas Songs

Hey guys, I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas or holidays or simply a great break from school or work. Me, I'm spending this Christmas staring into the black abyss that is my post-collegiate life. Donations and prayers are greatly appreciated.

So, in that vein of the holiday spirit, I give to you the Top Five Christmas Songs that you should give to your friends and loved ones. There really isn't rhyme or reason to this list and it isn't in any particular order. Now then, sit back with your favorite egg nog, relax with a warm cup of Glühwein, and take in the overwhelming Tour de Force that is this holiday list.

5. For your resident hipster: Anything from the Sufjan Stevens' Songs for Christmas series




While most people won't think that this song stands out in comparison with the other gems on these albums, let's take a moment and commend Sufjan Stevens for not taking the usual sappy, string-laden route with Christmas songs. Instead, he comes out blaring with wall of distorted electric guitars. I imagine if Kurt Cobain had to write a Christmas song (Although that would probably mean he was a sell out. Better get that shotgun ready... [too soon?]) it would sound a bit like this. Yet, if you listen to the lyrics they are as tender and intimate as one of his more famous songs, "Casimir Pulaski Day". It's further proof that whatever the musical genre is, you can count on Sufjan to deliver.

4.5. However...if your tastes are more traditional, then here's your Christmas groove:



While it might not be strictly a Christmas song, it is on the album and it is one of my favorite Sufjan songs of all time. Growing up going to church, I have become mostly desensitized to church hymns. But, this song touches me every time and really makes me reexamine where I'm at in life, which is very appropriate this time of year.

4. For Red (you know who you are), "When it's Christmas Time in Texas", George Strait

(Sorry for the poor audio quality. Stupid country hipsters and their love of vinyl!!!)



George Strait is still cool. There, I said it.


But seriously, the George Strait Christmas album cassette tape was constantly on in my mom's car when I was a kid. I don't know if we still have that cassette, but I doubt that we could play it today if we did have it because it would be simply worn out. Besides, it very accurately describes the very un-winterlike weather in Texas around Christmastime. Merry Christmas, y'all!

3. For the guy in your group that wants to recreate the 60s and 70s, "Merry Christmas, Baby", Otis Redding



I sincerely hope that everyone has one of these guys in their group. Not only do you get to hear some great throwback songs every now and then, you're almost guaranteed to steer clear of a drum machine or synthesizer. And we wouldn't want that at all. Anyway, this is song really is a gem because, after all, everyone needs some soul in Christmas.

2. For Zooey, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas", She & Him



So...uh...it's obvious I have feelings for you, Zooey. So, why don't you ditch that Death Cab and go out with me? I have mistletoe and eggnog! I even plugged you in my blog!

1.5. BONUS!!! "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" by the Houston Rockets!



I have no defense for this song. Really. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this the reason that God is striking down Yao Ming via the foot/ankle. You can only ruin his son's birthday so much before He exacts his revenge. Here, in the form of missing the NBA playoffs.

1. For young and old, "Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" by David Bowie and Bing Crosby



Ok, so I know that David Bowie isn't exactly young and hip anymore, but this has to be one of the most random Christmas songs ever. Let's start with the premise of the video. David and Bing apparently live in the same Mister Rogers neighborhood. And it's not too unusual for David to come over from time to time and just start talking about their kids and even sing a bit. Totally random. However, for all of the "What the heck?" moments in the video, David and Bing manage to pull off a Christmas classic. Harmonies and singing in rounds are some of the best modes of music, and they do both well in this song. Unfortunately, Mr. White Christmas would pass on shortly after the recording of this video, but David Bowie is still with us (but apparently in space).

So there you have it. I hope all of you enjoyed this list. But most of all I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas with their friends and family! Happy Holidays and Frohe Weihnachten!

Tuesday Top Ten: Nicholas Cage YouTube Clips

(Deep down, you knew this day would come...)

I have returned from my brief hiatus before finals begin, partly because I want to entertain you all during dead week in finals or dead time during work, but mainly because I am trying to prevent my slowly spiraling descent into madness while I try to learn about what causes disasters on Earth for my Geology final.  (uhh...this guy, obviously.)

Nicholas Cage has always been one of my least favorite actors.  The man has more bad movies than Antonio Cromartie has children.  (Btw, thanks for the fantasy football name this year, Sons of Cromartie).  However, thanks to my slow crescendo of terrible movie choices (and yes, I willingly saw the astoundingly terrible The Last Airbender with some friends this weekend...), it was only a matter of time before I came back to the light and decided that Nicholas Cage may, in fact, be onto something.  How this guy won an Academy Award may be my generation's number one mystery (right ahead of why Walt was special on Lost and who's soul the Los Angeles Lakers sold to the devil in order to hijack Pau Gasol from the Grizzlies.)  

Sorry to keep it short this time, but I have to return to writing a few essays on a critical theory article by Michel Foucault...(yes, it's as interesting to me, too.)  So without further suffering from my writing (no promises from the Cage clips), here are my ten favorite clips on YouTube featuring our favorite almost Superman.  I apologize in advance for some of the language...I didn't write the movies...I just enjoyed them.

10. We start off with a commercial of Cage in Japan.  It's almost too easy...you can get away with anything there.

9. This is from the movie Bad Lieutenant.  My friend Janisch may or may not have directly inspired this particular Cage character.

8. The Wicker Man could have had it's very own Top Ten list.
 

7.This video is incredible, but I couldn't embed it.

6. ...

5. Yes, this really happened...

4. In case you missed it...

3. Oh wait, there's more...

2. In other news, I bought The Wicker Man at a store once for $1.

1. This video says it all.  (Once again, family and friends who are easily offended...you should probably stick to something else.)  I'm just here to share the knowledge.



Thanks for watching.  I promise more consistent writing after finals, not to mention new authors coming soon!

-PB (easter egg city)

Ty's Top Ten (Part One): Life Regrets

Well Thanksgiving is over, the weather is cold and Bing is on the radio. In an effort to bring myself back to earth I have compiled a top ten list that was a bit rough to write, it was a struggle, a humbling journey. I present the my top ten regrets in life, a hindsight-laced cure for any pointless nostalgia the holiday season may be inspiring. Excited yet? I don't blame you.

10.) Not watching enough day-time TV in college - Don't mistake me, I watched plenty of day-time TV in college, an inordinate amount really, but until you have to go to work all day everyday you can't really see the truth, that there is never, ever too much day time TV. If you are in college right now, do yourself a favor and go turn on Judge Judy or a Frasier re-run immediately. You're welcome.

9.) Becoming addicted to Diet Coke - My dad has low blood sugar and therefore can't drink regular cokes. Growing up we never had regular Coke in our house. Naturally I drank whatever carbonated beverage was in my house. Unfortunately, the casual diet coke, consumed out of convenience, grew into a raging, embarrassing and certainly harmful addiction. Its not fun to be the dude who goes goes to the break room and returns with diet coke... no I'm not holding this for a girl, nor was it the only thing they had left...I HAVE A FREAKIN ADDICTION, OK!! Also, I'm pretty sure I will get cancer at some point in my life due to the large amount of aspartame I consume on a daily basis. To note: this would be much higher on my list, considering it might kill me, but this is a list of my regrettable choices and my dad's medical condition is partly to blame for this regret.

8.) Watching 45 minutes of the movie "College." - This would also be much higher on the list had I lost any more than 45 minutes of my life watching this movie (coincidentally, this movie is pretty high on my "who gave this the greenlight?"list). I actually went to the theater to see this on the recommendation of a friend...well former friend, I officially downgraded us to permanent acquaintances after this movie.  In fact, this movie was so bad and I felt so betrayed by the recommendation that this acquaintance could be the best man at my wedding and I would have to introduce him as "the best man and my good acquaintance, _____"

7.) Not investing myself in some obscure sport in high school - In retrospect, I really should have pursued some obscure sport with very few participants and even fewer actual athletes. I might have been able to ride this into a scholarship at some expensive, prestigious college.

6.) Jnco Jeans (and to a lesser extent, Lee's Pipes) - C'mon, if you are between the ages of 27 and 20, you remember these bad boys. Wow. I wish my Superman cape and underwear phase had just extended to fifth grade rather than fall prey to this trainwreck of a fad.

5.) Developing myself a catchphrase - there's still time for this one but I feel like if I had worked in an Steve Urkel-esque catchphrase earlier in life it would be more likely to stick. In my head it plays out like this...a large room full of people are in a conversion, possibly my office, a family reunion, a friend's house, anywhere where there are many people who know me gathered together. I walk in, conversation continues, I'm somewhat unnoticed. Then, as if planned by the gods, someone tees me up, without hesitation nor over-excitement but simply a cool sense of purpose and destiny, I stick my head into the conversation and drop the line "________" Immediately everyone roars with studio audience-like laughter, but I only smile, I've been there before..."

That's all I've got for now...part II to come...