Capricious Villains

I had an experience this morning that inspired me to write this post.  A very lovely girl walked up to the entrance of the coffee shop at the same time as I did.  Trying to avoid the inevitably awkward "who goes first?" move, I quickly rushed ahead and held the door open for her.  She gave me a beautiful, beaming smile and thanked me as I followed her inside.  (What can I say, my mom taught me right).  Inside the coffee shop, however, her beautiful, beaming smile turned into a terrifying scowl.  She proceeded to berate the barista for not making her latte hot enough and refused to let it go.  It got to the point that several people had to tell the girl to calm down, which only seemed to set her off more.

While my judgment of her could be completely based off of one bad day and she could very much be the lovely girl I initially assumed, her fate as a villain was sealed in my book at that moment.  Almost immediately she inspired me to consider characters that appear harmless on first appearance that ultimately turn out to be menaces.  What can I say, my mind rambles.


5. Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear, Toy Story 3

Lost in all the men-crying-in-the-theater nostalgia of this movie was, frankly, how big of a bastard Lotso was in Toy Story 3.  He made that baby doll cry, nearly got Woody and the gang  eviscerated by ravenous children, and almost turned the timeless Ken-and-Barbie relationship upside down.  (How would I have hope for a meaningful relationship if Ken and Barbie couldn't even work it out?)  His cane and grandfather-like demeanor was in stark contrast to his impending darkness.  He does get some style points for his over-the-top selfishness when he refused to save the toys from the incinerator, creating one of the most heartfelt and surprisingly dark scenes in Pixar history.

4. The Klopeks, The 'Burbs

When you think of Tom Hanks' movie career, you inevitably think about Forrest Gump, Cast Away, Saving Private Ryan, etc.  However, the movie that I will always love most is The 'Burbs.  Check it out sometime.  Fuss is made throughout the movie about the mysterious nature of Hanks and Princess Leia's next door neighbors, the Klopeks.  From their reclusive nature to their ominous hole digging in the rain, the neighbors come to the conclusion that they're up to something evil.  Yet when they finally meet, the Klopeks appear to be harmless (if not creepy and socially awkward).  But are they...?  Or are Hanks and his friends the evil ones? (I'm assuming I'm one of about 5 people my age who have actually seen this movie, so I won't spoil the awesomeness except to say, "Hey Pinocchio, where you going??")

3. The Convenience Store Characters, Cabin Fever

This movie took some very interesting turns.  At the beginning of the movie when the main characters were shopping in the store, the owner calmly asked the guy who stole the candy bar to return it without any problems.  The old guy with the beard did seem to be incredibly racist, so the convenience store people didn't get off crystal clean.  Then, this incredibly over-the-top-yet-tastefully-and-credibly-crafted-scene happened, and all hell broke loose.  The unassuming clerk went crazy and hunted the teens, Most Dangerous Game-style.  The only redeeming factor at the end of the movie for the convenience store was that the old man with the beard appeared to be slightly less racist than we first thought...


2. Alex and his gang, A Clockwork Orange

Alex and his gang don't look like much in the above picture, what with their Quailman-inspired outer-underwear.  However, within the first thirty minutes there are several inexplicable beatings, rapings, and spiked-milk chuggings...things that Quailman never would have stood for.  What's also surprising is Alex's stark contrast between his gang and his family.  To the gang, he was their leader with an affection for crime and Beethoven; his family, just a young teen who faked sick one-too-many times.  Even the government attempting to cure Alex via brainwashing couldn't stop his inner demons and proved once and for all that dystopian teens are doomed.

1. Brad Wesley, Road House

Brad Wesley's motives were one of the many unreasonable storylines in what has become my favorite movie of all-time.  An incredibly rich man living in a lawless town who decides it's in his best financial interest to steal from the many blue-collar citizens who inhabit it.  Wesley loved power...but not as much as he loved the unrealistically beautiful women of Jasper or hiring his hilarious henchmen.  His docile demeanor throughout most of the movie only exacerbates the plot.  Why does such a seemingly gentle man have so much hatrid for everyone in town?  And where are all the police officers while his henchmen run twenty-foot tires through car dealerships and explode barns and mechanic shops?  Brad Wesley don't care, he do what he wants.  He's relentless.

-PB

A Clockwork Maroon

(In this picture...Texas A&M is to Dim as Fate is to Alex)

Heartbreak is nothing new.  Remember that moment in your life when something you thought you trusted, something you thought was undeniably true, ended up coming back to bite you like a rabies-enraged collie dog?  I know you've been there before.  Whether it's your unrealistic idealization of that girl/guy crashing down to reality or your favorite show jumping the shark, it's a moment that makes your heart drop into your stomach like an anvil.

The students and alumni at Texas A&M have a unique aspect to this moment, for heartbreak is an old friend to the Aggies.

Let me start with the all-too-familiar disclaimer of "don't get me wrong, I still love my school."  Then let me follow that cliche by saying that as a former UTSA Roadrunner and Oklahoma Sooner who was raised in a heavily Longhorn-influenced family, my journey to Texas A&M is atypical to many of my peers.  I will be the first to admit I don't know most of the Aggie yells and I still have a soft spot for OU; I understand my opinion may not be shared by all.  But Texas A&M is my school, and my collegiate saga gives me a uniquely level-headed view of the Aggies.

Basketball will always be my sport.  I didn't play football in high school (although I did play one hilariously ineffective season in 8th grade), but I've watched enough Friday Night Lights episodes and played enough games of Madden to know one indisputable fact: when you play too conservative and don't play to win, you're more than likely going to lose.  However, that statement seems to go against every conservative bone in Texas A&M's hypothetical body lately.  After making eerily Nostradamus-like predictions to Rob and Ty during the Aggie-Razorbacks game on Saturday (I knew we lost the game almost immediately in the third quarter and was willing to make outrageous bets after punting near midfield on 4th and short leading 35-20), I was once again left wondering where our school went wrong, all while reading predictably brutal Facebook statuses.  (Most of them unoriginal..."Welcome to the SEC"?  Thank you.)  Bottom line, A&M has been foolish these past few weeks (and the coaching staff might need to man up...not to mention a certain guy who has an affection for bow-ties).

Judging from my half-joking attempts to be a hipster, it's pretty easy to not be in favor of what is becoming all things Longhorn.  How can anyone defend the Longhorn network?  Congrats to the university for being able to pull that behemoth deal off, but are Longhorn fans (or as I've been recently told, "t-shirt t-sips") really that surprised that the rest of the nation is less-than-thrilled whenever "Longhorns" is an ESPN bottom line squished between "NCAA Football" and "NFL"?  I'd love to believe in conspiracies about ESPN painting A&M in a negative light now that they are in bed with UT (although we're doing a great job of doing that ourselves lately), but I could really care less.  It's pretty telling when most of my friends and family refuse to buy the Network anyway. At the end of the day Red, the most diehard Longhorn fan I know, sums everything up best (and worst) when he legitimately boasted, "It's good to be King."  (My dad gets better with age.)

I am fairly excited about the move to the SEC.  I'm glad that we are being proactive and not waiting around to see what Texas and Oklahoma do.  I'm grateful that even if we have it rough in the SEC (which at this point seems inevitable), we are a prominent enough university to be invited to the best football conference in the nation.  And who knows, maybe someday the students will break away from the inferiority complex with UT.  (I can hope, right?)

One thing that gets lost in the mix is just how great Texas A&M University is as a whole.  You'd be pretty hard-pressed to find a campus full of more genuinely gracious people.  Heartbreak or not, the Aggies are in it together.

And I'm not talking about football.

(For the record, Reveille does not have rabies.)

-PB

Thursday Tracks With Ryan

I am back from the abyss; also known as life in a new apartment without cable/internet.  Since my last post, Charging Interests has changed drastically.  First, Nick went full-on German socialist with his music recommendations, followed abruptly by the first post written by a woman... from OHIO... I think I now know the pure hatrid my dad Red felt when I told him I didn't like his beloved Longhorns anymore. 

[I'm completely kidding.  Bunce's taste in music, minus the German techno, is top-notch and I couldn't be more excited to have my outlandishly intelligent pal Alya brighten up our clumsy site.  Also, Red has handled everything with more class than I can ever dream of.]

I think Nick is on to something here, so I've decided to shamelessly steal his idea.  Without further ado, here are 5 songs that I've been listening to lately.

1. Midnight Confessions - The Grass Roots


Classic American rock.  Let's all join together as we rub this in Bunce's face....USA! USA!

Originally, I planned to post the far more patriotic "America the Beautiful" by The Rascals but was unable to find it on YouTube, so I went on to the next song/band I have been obsessed with from the old record collection I inherited from my dad.  If nothing else, be in awe as you watch The Creed Bratton rock out on guitar: he is the guitarist on the left!

2. Love is All - The Tallest Man on Earth


I follow up my act of patriotism with a song by a little-known Swedish songwriter.  My friend T.Whitt showed me this guy back in college ("back in college" has become increasingly more normal to say, which in turn has made things very strange) and while I absolutely loved the strumming, I'm assuming I'm not the only one who is a little put off by his scratchy vocals (T.Whitt's girlfriend Kelsie went as far as to call him "The Most Annoying Man on Earth".)  So go ahead and write him off for a few months, but unlike Tobias Funke, give this guy a second chance....he deserves it.

3. You Can't Lose What You Never Had - Muddy Waters


I wish I had this kind of swagger.  This song/video is incredible and the lyrics are strikingly relevant to me and my occasionally hopeless romantic self. Also, I hope I'm not the only one who is incredibly impressed by how intricate these camera shots were for what appears to be a live show in the '60s.

4. Swim Until You Can't See Land - Frightened Rabbit


Frightened Rabbit has the impressive distinction of sounding even better live (based on their live albums) than in studio.  Besides this song being amazing, it reminds me of a story I have from a very familiar locale in Charging Interests lore: the Hydra.  A few of us wise gentleman thought it would be a great idea to swim across Lake Travis in the middle of the night to the other side of the lake.  It's a very interesting story involving Rickesh getting lost in the dark abyss of the lake, walking up twenty-five feet of jagged rock barefoot, and ChiChi and I stumbling across a legitimate girls' topless party across the lake...but the story is too good to tell in brief here.  Sorry for the teaser, but maybe someday soon I'll write more about it.  Maybe.

5. Little Garcon - Born Ruffians


So 3 of my 5 songs were not from American bands...classic.  At least they were English?! A la Bunce and Chuck Klosterman, here is a second-by-second rundown of my thought process while I listened to Little Garcon:

0:00-1:00: This song sounds like it has potential.  Nothing can go wrong with a harmonica in the background, amiright?

1:00-1:40: Wow, my love for this song is getting out of hand; how can I legally download this?

1:40-2:05: Okay, I'm not sure where the lead singer is taking this, he is slightly off-key.  Is this the live version of the song or something?  That's okay, it'll get back on track soon...

2:05-2:40: Yikes...what is this...?

2:40-3:30: Uh oh.......

3:30-4:10: Eff you, Born Ruffians.

-PB

All the Ladies in the House Say: O.H.I.O.

When Ryan first asked me to bring some female-Midwestern perspective to Charging Interests, I felt like I had just gotten invited to join The Skulls (Joshua Jackson, where are you? It's been too long). Just like The Skulls, Charging Interests is definitely a "man's world," and the similarities don't end there! Exclusive membership, check. Ominous references, check. Secret Lair (aka Ryan's hot tub), check. Plus, I can't think of a time when I've met up with Nick and not thought, "Dang. That boy has some serious Ivy League swagger." But, I digress...

I think we all know that Charging Interests is less elitist fraternity and more easy-going co-operative. With that said, for as easy-going as these boys are they've sure set the bar high for interesting, well-written blog posts! Let's hope I can at least squeak by, lest I see the true colors of their brotherhood! (yep, still referencing The Skulls...)

I'm currently living in Columbus, OH. (And before you're all "what the heck," trust me -- I definitely put in my fair share of time down in Texas. Excuse me if I don't want to melt!) Having lived in both the South and the Northeast for quite some time, I think I can confidently say that the Midwest is a whole different kind of animal. (I'm thinking Mustang, Owl, and Labrador Retriever, respectively.) I've never been in a city that's so calm and exciting at the same time. There are some neighborhoods that remind me of quaint European villages, and others that scream "C.O.P.S." (literally, I think I heard someone shouting for the police once). Those juxtapositions are compounded by the truly eclectic population here in Columbus. I live at the beginning of the city's arts district, an area clearly dominated by alternative-lifestyle patrons, and at the end of the university district (clothing & accessories I see often include: casual wear from the Victoria Secret Pink collection, cargo shorts, Buckeye football t-shirts, ray bans, & generally boisterous attitudes - if that counts as an accessory). There are, of course, the stoic financiers and lawyers downtown, but just across the river you'll find charming grandmas and grandpas selling crazy things at their summer garage sales. I actually bought both these chairs at one such sale for $20:

Needless to say, it's a vibrant city and one of the friendliest places I've ever been. (Though, my little brother just started his freshman year at Texas A&M and he begs to differ.) So, as far as the Midwestern perspective, I haven't got much to say yet, other than GO BUCKEYES! On the "female"-perspective end, I personally think I'm doing pretty well. I've already mentioned a movie including at least one cast member from Dawson's Creek, AND I threw in a little interior design action. A string of lol's, omg's, and hehe's and I'll probably be done, right?

WRONG.

The boys might call me "the girl," but I'm hoping that eventually morphs into "the GRRRRRRRRL!"... I'll often be posting solely to keep these guys on their toes/practice my black bear impersonation. I'm in law school here in Ohio, so it will also be interesting to see whether I can contribute something meaningful before my brain turns into mush. (Mush, by the way, is what all Mexican food in Ohio tastes like.) I'm also hoping that my bad horror movie references rival Ryan's, while my alternative/indie music library gives Nick a run for his money/ironic t-shirt collection. For the ladies, I plan to interject my own personal boy-servations (boy-observations). So far, I've met two guys that both listen to Insane Clown Posse...it's not looking good. Also, something I've taken major issue with is that there is never any talk about food here on Charging Interests! I measure my days in meals not minutes, so I guess you can expect a little of that. And most of all, I hope that I can bring cute puppies to yet ANOTHER page on the Internet. There's my mission statement. Glad to be of service!

- T.G.

Tuesday Tracks with Nick

Two Nicks rocking out to Dire Straits. I was so hardcore back then...

5 amazing songs. 1 crappy day of the week. This isn't a top-5 list. These aren't even my favorite songs. But they're songs that I'm listening to right now or songs that I feel need to be listened to. I imagine that I probably could turn this into a wonderful weekly post. But I'm probably never going to be motivated to do this again on a Tuesday, so there's a good chance that this might not appear next time on a Tuesday. There might not be music. It might not appear again at all. Enjoy.


1) "Celebrated Summer"- Hüsker Dü

For some reason, for the past month (maybe 2), I've been getting into what I like to call "Pre-Nirvana Alternative", which is a bit of a misnomer because the label wasn't widely used yet. This is also a bit of a change of pace and style for me. As anyone who's been in my room knows, I've got two posters: one Iron & Wine poster and another Explosions in the Sky poster. (I also have a Flight of the Conchords poster, but does that really count?) Neither band is really pushing speed records, and while EitS is oozing with melancholy and ennui, they are lacking in the anger and angst department. It's been pleasantly surprising to see how much I've been listening to Hüsker Dü. There is nothing like going down the highway with your windows down (not by choice though, my AC is broken) and this blaring as you go 70 mph. In fact, as the tempo picks back up after the interlude, I have found myself all too often subconsciously pressing the accelerator even more. Before I knew it, I was hitting 85 or 90. Hüsker Dü will be the world's first band to coerce someone to get a ticket without the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, this band was a direct influence on Nirvana and another band that will pop up later, the Pixies.


2) "The Sun"- The Naked and Famous

This is more of a plug for TNaF's whole album than this particular song. On Passive Me, Aggressive You, there really isn't a weak song. According to my iTunes, it is 49.2 minutes of pure electro-pop-rock joy. And I haven't even shown you "Punching in a Dream", "Young Blood", or "Girls Like You". Do yourself a favor and download this whole album. Then do yourself another favor and go to your room, close the door, and watch this version of "The Sun" (Warning: NSFW). While they went for more "naked" than "famous" in this video, the end result is visually stunning. And oh yeah, hehe, boobs.


3) "If I Can't Change Your Mind"- Sugar

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you the most perfect pop song ever written. No, it might not have the beat or danceability of a Lady Gaga song, and Bob Mould (who was also the guitarist for Hüsker Dü) is no Justin Bieber, but it is pop in it's purest and sweetest form. While it might not be musically daring, especially by today's standards, it is simple and straightforward. The acoustic (12 string?) guitar hook brings you in, and the lyrics make you stay. Like most pop songs, it's about love, particularly the unrequited variety. The words seem almost quaint,

And all throughout the years
I've never strayed from you my dear
But you suspect I'm somewhere else
You're feeling sorry for yourself
Leaving with a broken heart
I love you even still
But if I can't change your mind
Then no one will

This is something that seems to be missing in today's pop music. There is very little pretense anymore. As the AV Club put it, "I don't mean to be rude, but...music is fucking you tonight whether you like it or not. It's just going to happen". And, yes, while lyrics like "Leaving with a broken heart/I love you even still" sound a bit naive, isn't it nice just to hear it and smile, even for a little bit? In fact, romantic dedication as a musical theme appears so little now, you almost want to transport yourself back 1992, when the very thing seemed possible. (Yes, 3-year old Nick still believed in true love back then. It wasn't until I had my heart broken in kindergarten that I started drinking the whiskey to drown my sorrows...)

A second-by-second analysis á la Chuck Klosterman:

0:00 - 0:05 I'm glad to know that everything in the 90s had a nice, sunny golden hue. In fact, if you only saw music videos from that time, you'd assume that behind the Berlin Wall there was a giant flashlight, which bathed the world in an evening glow.

0:05 - 0:09 Apparently, Bob Mould came up with the That 70's Show circle 7 years before the show even existed. I can only hope he got royalties from that. Come on, it launched the careers (?) of Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace. He should be banking.

0:09 - Rest of Video I know that I said that this is probably one of the most lyrically heartwarming videos I have ever heard, but we just take a look for one second at Bob Mould's eyes throughout pretty much the entire video? Dear God, hey Subject of the song! DO NOT change your mind! When you get back and feel all sorry for thinking about how he was sleeping around on you, he's probably going to kill you. There are only two possibilities here: Either he is drunk and that's his "drunk look" or he's rather pissed off that you've been telling the whole town that he's been having an affair. Either way, this is only going to end in a hospital.

Bonus: A solo "cover" by Bob Mould and a cover by the Decemberists!


4) "Landungsbrücken raus" - Kettcar

Dieses Video ist einfach meine Ausrede, einen Beitrag auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Ich kann jetzt schon meine Freunde hören (Goddamnit, Nick! You German spy!) Ich wollte eigentlich seit langem einen deutschen Post schreiben, aber ich hatte noch nicht die Gelegenheit. Ich hab dieses Lied ausgewählt, weil das mich immer an Deutschland erinnert, wenn ich das zuhöre. Ehrlich bin ich noch nie in Hamburg (Muss sich bald ändern!), aber wenn ich an Deutschland denke, kommt mir diegleiche Bilder vor. Schnee. Keine Sonne. Es ist bei uns hier in Texas gerade 37 Grad Celsius. Solche Bilder verdienen auf jeden Fall applaus. Naja, der Text ist ein bisschen melancholich aber ist das auch nicht manchmal Deutschland?


5) "Don't Watch Me Dancing" - Little Joy

Ahh, another song that reminds me of Germany. This whole album got me through the first 2 weeks of living in the student dorms in Tübingen without internet. I sit at my desk play a dumb strategy computer game (like the ones our parents play) and listen to this album. This song always stood out to me, probably because of the singer's delicate voice. Also, maybe, because I can relate to the song. "Don't watch me dancing" is probably what I should be screaming at the top of my lungs whenever I (poorly) attempt to dance. However, if I'm dancing, I'm probably already too drunk to care by that point. But the song also touches the sensitive, maybe even romantic part of me that I (unfortunately) have. The song is about a dancer who catches the eye of a guy who's too shy to talk to her, but he works up the courage and things somehow workout happily ever after. Sounds great and heartwarming, just like "If I Can't Change Your Mind", however it almost pushes the sappiness too far. At the end of the song, I think I'd rather be Jackal Onassis, banging women and living the rockstar lifestyle without caring. But then again, that's not me. No matter what, I'll probably always be that guy who can listen to songs like "Don't Watch Me Dancing" and "If I Can't Change Your Mind".

-Nick (Everybody just chill!)

The Number 23

(Expections of age 23)

(Reality at age 23)

 (I should have known this would all culminate with a photo of a cupcake.)

Remember that inevitable moment in high school, the moment where you think to yourself, just wait until college?  That universal thought, where you are intrigued by the endless possibilities of the future, may very well be the single most exhilarating and terrifying thought for a young, innocent adolescent.   What you didn't realize, if you've reached the appropriate age, is that the feeling can come full circle as your four years of college comes to a close (Or in the case of my buddy Rick, TBD years.  Love ya brotha.)  The mysterious aura of the unknown remains forever tempting as the strange mix of exhilarating and frightening emotions returns as swiftly and clumsily as Ted Mosby re-returned to McLaren's.  After two months on the job, I could not have lucked out more so far after college.

I’m twenty-three now.  Does that make me an adult?  It's hard to believe that...this time last year my roommate Nick was smashing bottles against the window in attempt to kill a hornet's nest, my friends began hilariously ubiquitous "USA! USA!" chants,  and I was being asked by a girl to describe what I saw across her living room in a seductive manner (which is about as mature and seductive as it sounds.  "I see a window, a television, a picture frame.." Future note, when a girl asks you to play I Spy on a date, the relationship is going south.)

Did you ever consider what your life was going to be like when you were twenty-three?  I know I did.  I remember being ten years old, constantly playing basketball on the plastic hoop that hung on my bedroom doorframe.  I was a high-flyer (I vividly remember telling my sister once that "white men can jump"...so long, innocence).  I was absolutely arrogant that I would be selected in the 2011 NBA draft.  To tell you how long it took me to do the math to find out what year I would be drafted would reveal another reason for my liberal arts degree.  But hey, bonus points for wanting to stay in college for four years at such an early age, right?

(Also, in hindsight, it’s probably a good thing my athletic ability maxed out on my indoor hoop; being drafted into this tormenting lockout would have been as fulfilling as the series finale of Twin Peaks.  Wait a minute…Did you see what I just did there?  I referenced a polarizing show that WASN’T Lost?  I really must be growing up.)
 
Unlike Jim Carrey, however, I’m not haunted by the number 23.  Despite the sad, sad facts that Dash Harris is still playing college basketball and the Rockets will eventually pay Chandler Parsons to play for them, I’m blessed to be where I’m at right now.  I have an incredible job that I could not be happier with, an awesome apartment lined up downtown, and an outlet here at Charging Interests where I can have my useless stream-of-consciousness-style ramblings be read by some fantastic and loyal people.




Not to mention a group of friends that would have made an excellent entourage if I had been drafted into the NBA.  USA! USA! Sewer rage! Sewer rage!


-PB (credit to Bunce for the band)

Hot, Hot, Hot

This is my lakehouse post. Ryan's will be infinitely more interesting. Probably funnier too. (Update: Ok, this is turning out to be the Tree of Life of Charging Interests posts. Without dinosaurs. Can't say I didn't warn you.)

---

Damn, no pictures of me at the lakehouse in summer. Team Smith doesn't believe in cameras.

As I gazed up at the clouds sitting at the edge of the dock, I could only see one solitary cloud. To be honest, it didn't look like anything. I would love to say that the cloud looked like a duck or superman or even Abraham Lincoln, but it was none of those things. The cloud just sat suspended in the middle of the sapphire sky, a little white blemish on what otherwise was a perfect swath of blue heaven. It was of course white and fluffy, but it wasn't burdened with that one hope of 32 million Texans: Rain.

If you were there with me sitting on the dock, you would probably forgive me for thinking about the weather while I was in probably the happiest places on earth (Sorry, Disneyland). I'm not sure what there is about the lakehouse. The rolling hills? Beautiful. Weekends with my best friends? Awesome. The intoxicating effects of (copious amounts of) alcohol? Probably mostly responsible for most of my warm associations with the Hill Country. In short, if I tragically died in a freak accident involving me hitting my head on the world's worst rope swing, I'd be ok with that since it was at the lakehouse.

I shifted my vision from one great white object to another, the white band of Austin limestone that seemingly capped the shores of Lake Travis. It was pretty much impossible not to notice the 20 feet of water that was missing just like it is impossible not to notice the despair in the sunken eyes of a sick hospital patient. It was the constant reminder that this part of Texas was suffering through one of the hottest and driest summers on record. The water was simply gone, having either flown down the Colorado River or quite literally vanished into the thin air. However, I soon discovered that taking my eyes away from the white stripe was an exercise in futility. The whiteness of the rocks seemed to reflect even more light than what shined down on it. With brilliant white light coming off of the rocks and the broiling yellow light from the evening sun, the entire scene both was dazzling and depressing in the same glance.

---

I don't really know where I became so sensitive to the magnitudes of droughts. Maybe it came from growing up in the the hinterlands Cedar Park and Leander, where the waves of urban concrete only just began to lap up on the sea of cedar and oak trees. Even though my family had little to nothing to do with agriculture, we lived in an area that still had remnants of its rural past. Every so often, I'd hear a prayer from a rancher at church for more rain, "Because Lord knows we need it". Perhaps I got it when I would go to my grandparents ranch and feel the dry grass crack under my shoes and put my fingers in the dusty fissures in the earth where water used to puddle. Even then I could remember seeing that white ring of rock around the stock pond where my dad and I would fish. (My most memorable moment: I caught two perch on the same line once!)

---

We all decided to go back up to the house. Or rather, climb back up to the house. First, we had to traverse the aforementioned white limestone rocks, which killed your feet if you were short-sighted enough to go barefoot (Just ask Chi Chi). Then it was up the metal stairs to the landing. From the landing it was the concrete stairs to the backyard. From the backyard, it was still a sticker-filled 15 feet across the lawn to the back door. As I conquered onto the last step, my lungs were already gasping for air from what seemed to be an embarrassingly short climb up from the lake. However, the only thing I could force into my lungs was the achingly hot summer air. Not only was it hot, but it was also thick with humidity. Breath after breath seemed only to scream for what I already wanted: The cold mountain air of Colorado.

But that wasn't what was waiting for me at the top. Unfortunately, the central AC at the lakehouse had gone out, which only left a lone window unit to cool down the entire downstairs. I'm sure the little thing gave it's all, but it couldn't beat back the heat of the Texas summer. In fact, I'd be willing to give the AC a medal of honor for refrigeration if there were such a thing.

No, the air inside the house was barely better than the air outside. Having successfully climbed up from the lake, sweat was now seeping through my shirt.

Oh shit, what's that?

One hot, moist drop collected midway up my back.

Heavier.

Heavier.

Heavier.

There it goes, trickling down!

And that is pretty much the most disgusting feeling you can ever experience outside of a morgue.

---

Back in the middle of that concrete ocean near the Galleria, I'm all of this is leaving my German coworkers very confused. They post crazy shit like, "38 C? No rain? Pool!!!!" To them, Texas is just a bluer Gulf of Mexico and a Democratic governor away from paradise. (Ok, I have to admit both of those would be pretty awesome.) Sometimes, I'll tell them that my favorite weather is when it's 50 F with a light rain. You know, the perfect weather for watching a terrible movie from Netflix or catching up on a classic novel. They can only look back at me with the most incredulous stare that screams at me, "Are you out of your fucking mind?! How could you possibly want that?!" This conversation is most likely happening on an outdoor patio in a restaurant because, once again, I've lost the battle between sitting inside (in the glorious AC!) and sitting outside in the heat and sweat (see section above for my thoughts the entire meal). I can't tell you how many times I've suggested to sit outside only to be shot down.

To be honest, I don't know where they get this from. It might be the bitter German winters from their childhood. I don't know, maybe 6 months of no warmth would make me pine for the blistering Texas sun too. Maybe it's because they are tucked in the middle of Houston, far removed from the white stripes of dried rock on top of lakes and the crunch of dessicated grass. Perhaps it's because you've-never-dug-trenches-in-the-Austin-bedrock-or-the-clay-of-East-Texas. (Yes, I use that one a lot.) In the end, I suppose it's just a fundamental experience that they lack, just like I never experienced a country divided or a decent national soccer team. They'll never know what it's like to hear the weatherman forecast snow for the next day, only to wake up the next morning still seeing black asphalt and being absolutely gutted because of the disappointment. And they'll never get why I find the intense summer heat to be utterly depressing.

---

On the drive back home, we passed by lawn after lawn and field after field of brown, dead grass. In fact, it made little sense in calling them lawns any more since what we call "grass" was now replaced with tiny shreds of crinkled paper. I was afraid that if I looked at one single piece for too long, it would burst into flames. Of course that might have been exacerbated by the light the repressive sun high in the sky. It was really a sight to behold. I'm sure that the most talented artists couldn't have painted the picture I saw. Unnatural browns starkly contrasted with the green tufts of the cedar trees, while bits of blue pierced through the branches. All the while, the whole landscaped was bathed in the yellow sun. In fact that's all I can see right now as I look out the office window. Yellow. And heat. I know you can't "see" heat, but I swear that I could see it sucking the life out of the hills this weekend. (For the record, I think the Texas sun has a unique glow. It even shines through on film. If you took any movie filmed in Texas and showed me a scene without a discernible landmark but showed the sky, I could tell you that it was filmed in the Lone Star State. Office Space? Austin. Rushmore? Houston. Spy Kids 3D? No, I won't go there.)

When it is so hot like it is now, people like to use lots of cooking metaphors. Man, the sun is baking my car right now. It's as hot as a broiler out there. It's so hot, you could fry an egg on the concrete. However, I think these descriptions incorrectly put heat waves in a positive light. You see, to me, cooking implies that something delicious and wonderful is being made. I've baked you a birthday cake! Broil the roast for 10 minutes. Mmmm, fried twinkies! A heat wave makes none of these things. Instead, I see God up in heaven with a giant magnifying glass, dancing a jig as he incinerates half of the state.

---

I know that I'm leaving out a lot of very positive things about summer. What would life be like without those couple of months that are set to the music of ice cream trucks in the haze of frozen margaritas? (Ok, I'm confusing two eras of my life.) I enjoy the summer with its bikinis and swim trunks as much as anyone else. Yet, as I drive home from the pool or lake all those thoughts and memories melt away, and are followed by low lakes and dead grass.

How Did I Get Here?

(I'm going to see how much cliched mileage I can get with this movie)

I should have known that someday a Charging Interests title would resemble any Tyler Perry movie.

It's been nearly a month since my last post about letting go, and while there are plenty of things that I needed to let go in order to move on with my life, I never intended to make this blog one of them.  Let me explain: After college, most of my friends' futures already looked promising.  They all either had obtained jobs or were going to grad school (my friend Alya even decided that she should finish grad school up and begin law school.  I am surrounded by geniuses).  In a self-imposed state that was straight from The Graduate, I was worried about my future.  I needed a job, but had no idea where to look.  Now, who wouldn't wish they could write all day or at least drive across the country on their parents' dime?  That would be the life.  Instead, I decided to stress myself out.  Then, in an M. Night Shyamalan-like twist (and what I have to consider to be a little help from above)...

I got a job!  I am in the Human Resources department at EOG Resources, an oil and gas company with headquarters located in downtown Houston.  I am absolutely loving it.  But how did I get here?  Here are 23 mostly asinine things, based on the 23 years of my life (August 5th is close enough), that have shaped me.  For entertainments sake, I'm excluding family, friends and, most importantly, God.

23. Jack in the Box
   I was born and raised in Houston.  From a very early age, my dad has worked with the fast food chain (in the real estate department, mind you), allowing our family to stay in town.  No, we don't eat free Jack in the Box.  And good thing because I have an incredible physique to keep up.  (Kidding, we still eat there frequently.)

22. Hakeem Olajuwon/1994 NBA Finals
   I've mentioned before that I can pinpoint the moment I became a basketball fan.  Seeing Hakeem take out Patrick Chewing was that moment; I began playing NBA Live 95 in between long bouts with Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

21. Amy Jo Johnson
   Everyone remembers their first crush.  I think I speak for countless guys my age when I say that the Pink Ranger was everybody's first dream girl.  I can still remember being devastated when Tommy kissed her in an episode.  She was mine (well...maybe tomorrow night.)

20. Doug
   I've been lucky enough to be blessed with episodic cases of unrequited love.  In that respect, my obsession with Doug at any early age might have been before its time.  Forget Olde English poems, watching Doug fawn over Patti Mayonnaise was all I needed to learn about chasing the unattainable.

19. Halloween
   When I was six, my sister made me watch Halloween.  I was absolutely terrified.  However, it opened Pandora's box.  My childhood best friend Reid and I would search like ravenous dogs for showings of Halloween and Child's Play 2, changing the channels whenever it got too scary (to more age appropriate things like GLOBAL Guts).  After watching Scream in 2nd grade, I became emotionally numb to horror movies (after a respectable few months of being afraid every time the phone rang at night).  I now watch them with friends for fun.

18. Animorphs
   In 3rd grade, I won the Avid Reader award in my classroom.  I know, it was a huge moment in my life.  What the award meant was that any moment I had free time, I was reading one of my two favorite book series (the other being Goosebumps).  If you can't tell, I was a pretty popular kid.  The Animorphs was my favorite book series growing up and I always wished I could be the leader (Jake's hair alone should have discredited him from leader contention).  And FYI, reflecting on the series, Tobias was pretty indie (and definitely before it was cool).

17. Board Races
   While I never was one of the most popular kids in the school, I could always get by relatively unscathed because I was pretty good at basketball.  That being said, I think every "loser" in middle school can point out a moment when they were completely humiliated.  Mine was in my 5th grade class during a math game called Board Races.  Basically, we would solve math problems on the chalkboard and whoever finished first won a prize.  This would go on daily and I would win at least three days a week.  That already alienated me, but what really killed me was how competitively ungracious I was.  I'm pretty sure even my teacher despised me, and when a new kid moved in town that routinely beat me, my classmates were quick to gloat.  I am the worst.

16. Smallville
   Continuing my lameness, I was pretty obsessed with this show when I was younger.  So much so that, when I talk to a few girls nowadays that I liked during junior high, they always tell me that the show reminds them of me.  If that information doesn't make me Charging Interests' most eligible bachelor, then I'm at a loss.

15. Lost
   I'm still pretty disappointed with how it ended, but if there was ever a group of obsessed Lost fans (and I think there were a few), my friends and I were at the very top.

14. My high school basketball coach
   My coach was nothing if not polarizing.  My junior year he trusted me to lead our team to the promised land....we were 6-25.  That being said, I was honored to be co-MVP and make the All-County team despite our horrid record.  I've mentioned this all before, but I found myself being replaced by the younger players senior year in order to give them experience for the future. (Which wasn't a horrible idea...my problem was that the coach suddenly treated me like I was the Sasha Vujacic of the team).  I quit before my senior season.  While I doubt anything would have happened, I always wonder if I would have turned down a big university in order to play ball at a small college.  But, since I couldn't stand my coach, I'll live with the memories of the eternally more fulfilling Road House intramural team.

13. First Baptist - The Woodlands
   I might be breaking the rules on this one by mentioning friends and God, but my hometown church was never more important to me than my final years of high school.  When some of my friends started going in different directions than me and I felt lost, I turned here.  Our youth associate, Brock, ended up living in my house for a while until he got his feet on the ground and became a brother to me.  He, along with some incredible friends, proved that you didn't have to be going crazy on weekends to have fun.  FAITH is rewarded.

12. Coaching the Bucks
   I played in my community basketball league, the WCBL, since I was in 2nd grade.  Many times my dad was my coach.  My final semester of high school I decided I wanted to coach a team of 7th-8th graders (along with my friends Tim and Janisch...a power trio).  After losing a lot of love for my favorite sport my senior year, coaching the Bucks helped mend the wounds of the lost season. 

11. The Hydra
   If you don't already know what my lake house on Lake Travis means to me, you should check this out.

10. Exxon Mobil Aviation
   My mom has worked here next to the airport for as long as I can remember.  Secretly, I always wanted to fly planes.  I loved getting to explore the hangar as a child and have pictures of me sitting in the cockpit of private jets when I was four.  That heavily weighed in my brash decision to skip my acceptance to UT and head to OU for an aviation degree.  What a hilariously flawed decision that turned out to be.

9. Guestroom Records
   My roommate and I frequented this fantastic record store on Main Street in Norman.  I always half-expected to see John Cusack and Jack Black working the front counter.  I found a lot of my favorite music there, including The Black Keys and My Morning Jacket.  Now that I sold out and own a record player, I wish I could go back and actually buy something.

8. Sophomore Communication Class
   My most embarrassing moment in a college class.  We had to give 3 minute persuasive speeches on joining a nonprofit organization.  I was as interested in giving the speech as you are reading about it.  I bombed so terribly that some people couldn't watch; I didn't go back to class for two weeks.  I've vowed to not get so embarrassed with public speaking since.  (We'll see how long that holds true).

7. My first aviation teacher
   I didn't stick with aviation very long.  After one semester, my teacher was so terrible and disinterested in teaching that I once again rethought myself and bailed.  Who knows what would have happened if I had a teacher that challenged his students (actually, I probably would have bounced anyways).  Alas, I reverted back to my first love, which was English.  Looking back now, I'm almost grateful for the dude.

6. As I Lay Dying
    This was one of the first stories we read in class when I became an English major and it immediately reaffirmed why I changed to it.  William Faulkner, while unreasonably difficult to read at times, inspired me to want to write something of worth.  (If that will happen is still a little murky).

5. Central Baptist
   When I changed to an English degree, I knew I would have to come back to Texas so my family could pay in-state tuition.  I was never a huge Texas A&M fan, even turning down my acceptance offer in high school, but it was the only place I applied to when I wanted to come back home.  The reason being that my brother-in-law got a job as the University minister at Central Baptist in College Station.  It was amazing being so close to my sister and her family.  While I never got involved with the church as much as I should have (some stubbornness comes into play there...long story), Central's hire was honestly the primary reason for me attending A&M initially.  It turned out to be the best decision I could have made.

4. Bon Iver
   I've listened to some soulful stuff for a while (Iron & Wine, Ray LaMontagne, Sufjan Stevens, etc.), but none of them have hit home with me as much as Bon Iver has (pronounced 'Bone Evehr', although since neither he nor I are French, I'll continue refusing to pronounce it like that).  The guy makes great music, even if you can barely hear what he's singing at times.

3. Born to Run
   I don't read a lot of nonfiction.  However, running has always interested me so this book by Christopher McDougall was at the top of my Christmas list.  I finished it in about a day or two and can trace my motivation for running to this book.  Check it out; in the very least you might start saving money by not purchasing expensive shoes. 

2. Senior Seminar Class
   I took many good English classes in college, but none that were more influential and inspiring as my senior seminar class.  If you didn't notice, Charging Interests was heavy on the pop culture references and light on the personal reflections from its inception till about Christmas break 2010.  (10 of the 12 people reading this blog are thinking to themselves right now "Yeah, the site was actually bearable back then."  I apologize.)  This class made me feel more confident in sharing things that were a little more personal.  My short story, along with many of the posts I've written these past few months, would have stayed hidden in between my couch cushions if it weren't for the confidence I gained from all the amazing people I met in that class.  (Misguided confidence, I might add.)

1. Copper Sage - The Original Neighborhood
   So we've come this far and there is still no hint at what got me started with such a terrific company as EOG.  The truth is, it all starts with Copper Sage, the street I grew up on until 4th grade.  The father of my childhood best friend was able to get me in the door with his company, and I was lucky enough to catch on.  I remember vividly the first time I met him; I was seven years old.  Now I work twenty feet away from him.  Irony aside, I know that I am unbelievably blessed.
 -------------------------------------------------------------
My pal Ken and I stood in the doorway of my house on the last night before he left to work in Dallas.  "Here we go," he said.  I don't mean to support the Bud Light slogan aspect to the statement, but it kind of summed everything up that I've been feeling lately. I never pictured myself working in a skyscraper downtown, yet I couldn't be happier right now.  Life is full of parity.  No one knows what's happening next, but here we go.

-PB (also, check out my friend Kollin Baer's new album "The Woods" on iTunes...it's great!)

Letting Go.

(The freedom of summer days like this are coming to a close)

Unless you've been pressing the button inside The Hatch for the past few years, you probably know that the Dallas Mavericks recently won the NBA championship.  They completely dismantled the Heat, making LeBron James the real-life version of Roy Munson from Kingpin.  (One positive thing, ESPN is looking for a new 24/7 news story now that Brett Favre is gone for good--James' failures may have the same annoying legs behind it).  Now, as a diehard Houston Rockets fan, I don't think I could have had a worse scenario (other than Derek Fisher selling Khloe Kardashian's soul for one more Lakers ring.)  I have always hated the Mavericks, mainly because I cannot stand Jason "trophy tat" Terry (everyone knows the real JET is Kenny Smith, the starting point guard for the Rockets in their championship years) and with the exception of a few friends, I've found most Mavs fans to be slightly arrogant.  Also, I will admit that I'm slightly jealous Dallas has a superstar who doesn't get injured more often than Sam Jackson from Unbreakable.  However, it was almost equally as hard for me to knowingly root for Chris Bosh.  Our admiration for him is so low that my friends and I literally started using the word "Bosh" in place of profanity this past year.  (If he ends up getting traded to the Rockets at any point in my life, I will pull the fail-safe on The Hatch and renounce my Houston fandom.  See what I did there?  This post is gonna be slightly heavy on the Lost references...it's been a while). 

Although it was clear from the start that the Mavericks were going to be portrayed as the good guys (this article on Dirk vs. the three mercenaries was almost too good), I went into the series actually hoping to see the Miami, the team attempting to buy a ring, pull it out.  I know what you're probably thinking, but I have mentioned in several posts before that I am an irrationally stubborn person, right?  My unreasonable sports hatred of a guy who literally flies around like an airplane after big shots has caused me to become morally ambiguous. (In my defense, I could have sworn that until this postseason Terry only played well against the Rockets.) 

I was thinking about making up for my shady morals by writing a quick morality play a la Shakespeare starring Miami's Big Three and Dirk.  I would have tried to use a LOT of Old English...  so I think I did us all a favor by staying away from it and keeping Charging Interests as unambitious as possible. One thing is for certain about my unreasonable disdain for the Mavericks and the city of Dallas as a whole...

I need to let it go.

(I found this hilarious gem in my phone the other day.  I didn't know who to root for, but I do know that you can never go wrong taking awkward, slightly unnerving self-pictures of yourself...amiright?)

The same things can be said in a few other things in my life.  The other day my friend Kovach asked me to play in a summer basketball league that plays two games every Thursday night.  I initially told him no, saying that I couldn't commit to the money or being in The Woodlands every Thursday night.  Sounds like a pretty convincing reason, right?  Well, truthfully the real reason why I told him no was that I selfishly want to remember my time playing pickup basketball with my best friends from college.  After playing four or five times a week with the same group of friends, I got a little spoiled.  But because we were a more selective clique than the cast of all of Christopher Nolan's movies, we had a sort of ESP on the court that helped us win most of our pickup games (seriously, The Dark Knight Rises might as well be Inception 2, But Sorry DiCaprio, We're Kinda Already Committed to Christian Bale.  Not that I'm complaining...and I'm looking to patent that name, by the way).  I knew that playing with a bunch of relative strangers on the court wouldn't be the same.

But I need to let it go.

I decided to play tonight after Kovach's consistent prodding.  Seriously, that guy will be a great salesman one day if he chooses to be.  There were about eight of us at this thing and I hadn't played with any of them in years, if ever.  In a random twist, one of my best friends and fellow Roadhouse teammate's little brother played on the team.  (ESP doesn't travel over to younger brothers, unfortunuately).  We ended up cruising through both victories by over 30 points (playing against a bunch of aging dads didn't hurt) and while it was not the same as college, it definitely wasn't the depressing feeling I thought it may be.

(Except for towards the end of the first game.  We were winning by 30 when I had a clear path to the lane.  I went up for the layup when one of their players decided to sweep the leg and viciously take me out in midair.  I went sprawling out of bounds, my knee crashing into the hardwood floor and back crumpling into a metal pillar.  I'm not even kidding when I say I thought I might have been seriously injured for about five seconds.  Luckily I got up with only giant crick in my back and a throbbing knee.  I may feel like hell tomorrow, but I DID make the layup, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MEN DO.)

 

(Plus, I had to play because my new shoes via Nick and our friend David are KICKIN') 

After all this, I'm going to make a shocking revelation: I am not good at letting things go.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I've got this thing figured out after finally giving Dallas their due or one night of pickup basketball with new teammates.  Those are small, asinine things compared to the rest of my life.  Change is scary. I believe God has a plan and I trust Him, but it doesn't make the fact that I'm moving on with my life any less bittersweet.  The fabled after-college road trip that I have been so desperate to take for years may never take place if all works out for me and I get a job relatively soon (that is a big 'if').  I feel like I am in the sideways world in the last season of Lost and I am too stubborn to realize what's in front of me (Did I just refer to myself as one of my least favorite characters, Jack?  Yikes, we need to end this soon).  I need Christian Shephard to finally show up and tell me to "let go".  (Don't watch that unless you've seen the end of Lost or don't care.)

Many of my lifelong friends are about to scatter across the United States, possibly making these last few weeks together the last time we'll be in the same place for the foreseeable future?   Let it go.  My desire to play basketball with Roadhouse forever?  Let it go.  The girl who is so damn cool that, although it will never work out, I am absolutely crazy about?  Let her go.  Realizing I can't see my sister and her family whenever I want anymore?  Let it go.  Thinking it's cool to use Superman blankets as drapes in my apartment?  Gotta let it go.  Jokingly trying to be a hipster?  Well, according to Happy Endings, I've already failed by trying so I've got to let it go.  Having an unreasonable devotion to bad horror movies?

Sorry, not letting that one go just yet.

(If you've hated this article...tell that to my inspiration: The Graduate.  And yes, I did buy this at a vinyl store recently.  I'm a walking cliche.)

These are uncertain times ahead, but with a little Faith, I couldn't be more excited for them.

-PB

Today's Not Top Ten List: Moving in with Your Parents

I was originally going to write this post on "Why Pop Culture Matters", but I decided against it because I didn't want to become the Scream 4 of this blog and, well...that would be so meta. (But it will be coming up soon, I promise.) So I decided to go with the single most defining aspect of my life right now: My Parents.

Now, this isn't the "I-love-my-parents-and-here-is-my-paean-to-how-they-raised-me" post (although it is true that I do love my parents [btw, we need to get footnotes like Grantland]). That wouldn't really reflect how life is right now, so it would be wrong to merely write about all the great things. So I decided to do 5 good things, 5 bad things, one after another. Just like the Facts of Life, I'm gonna take the good and the bad and realize what I always had...a pretty good life when all is said and done.

So without further ado, my quasi-Top Ten List about living with my parents:

1) Good: My mom makes my lunch.

The last thing I do before I groggily leave my home for work in the morning is reach into the fridge and pull out a grocery bag with what I presume to be my lunch. I rarely, if ever, take a peek to see what's inside. (It has just now occurred to me that my mom could put rocks in tupperware and I'd probably still take it. Your move, Mom.) So, the biggest surprise of the whole day is usually when I sit down for lunch in the office break room and I untie the bag to reveal the actual contents of my lunch. You see, this is a great moment because my mom rarely just packs the usual sandwich, chips, and fruit. She goes all out for dinner and then carries it over to lunch, usually in the form of leftovers. Smoked chicken, pasta of all varieties, and sliced fruit are usually in order. One time, I made it to the office with a miniature Thanksgiving Dinner. I would most likely hate my life if it weren't for the life-sustaining and soul-lifting meals packed away in layers of plastic. And the best part of all of this is that I don't have to lift a finger for any of it. I wake up in the morning and it's just there. Like my own personal manna from heaven. Except more meat.

2) Bad: My mom makes my lunch.

Unfortunately, this seems to also be one of the highlights of the day for my coworkers.

I am the only American in an office full of Germans. While this sounds like a scene in Saving Private Ryan, it's ok guys. I speak (near) fluent German and we all get along pretty well. However, the only time I butt heads with them is at lunchtime, because they cannot seem to let the fact go that I don't make my own lunch. Ok, so I'm not a German 4,000 some-odd miles away from my parents. I don't live in foreign country surrounded with people that think I'm a walking WWII stereotype. I'm not closing in on 30 with almost a decade of work experience behind me. I don't roll my own cigarettes. And I don't make my own lunch. Which makes me less of an adult, apparently.

Before I even open my lunch, I'll hear, "So what has mama packed for you today?" (Or my personal favorite: My mom would write my name on my bag to help keep track of it among my siblings' lunches in the fridge. I asked her to stop. My ever-vigilant coworker opines, "Oh your name isn't written on it? How did you know it wasn't yours? ). Nevermind that I made my own goddamn breakfast, lunch and dinner for 4 goddamn years. And pretty good ones too! Ask, my co-editor, Ryan. I was always cooking for them at The Orchid. But in the end, I get the last laugh because I'll call them old and German and they'll shut up for a bit. Then they'll say I'm a kid again and we'll repeat the whole process until lunch is over (World War II it is not).

3) Good: I skip out on rent and utilities.

This is probably the most obvious thing about living with your 'rents. There is no rent. There are no utilities. In fact, thanks to automatic withdrawls, I no longer remember what a bill looks like. Unfortunately, I have to pay a small mortgage in gas to get to work, but I guess things could be worse. So, I get to enjoy free HD TV with premium movie and sports channels while I check facebook on my iPhone. All thanks to the largesse (?) of my parents. Just call me GOB Bluth.

4) Bad: I live in The Woodlands

Now, for most people, this sounds like a great problem to have. They would say, "Great homes, great schools, great shopping, trails, parks. What more could you want?" And to them I would say, "What the hell?! Are you 45 with a wife and kids?!" The Woodlands proper has 2 bars. Count 'em. Two. Both of them are filled to the brim with yuppies and overpriced drinks (funny how the two seem to go hand in hand). Unless you feel like dropping a Jackson for a meal, if you dine out, it's most likely going to come from a chain (We have TGI Fridays and Chili's within two minutes of each other). Now, I'm not exactly the world's most hipster or alternative guy. I don't have any tattoos or piecings, but I do enjoy a vibrant neighborhood with decent nightlife. After going to the Free Press Summerfest (aka, The "Houston can be just as cool as Austin. Really guys, I mean it" Festival) near Midtown, I can say that The Woodlands has none of these. Just like Sufjan said once about Detroit, The Woodlands is shaping up to be once a great place, now a prison.

5) Good: My dog, Sammy

Enough said.


Well, because I'm lazy, the last half of this list will appear tomorrow. Or otherwise call me Tyler Womack.

-Nick These guys absolutely killed it at the Free Press Summerfest. I don't care what you say about electronic(ish) music.

Ten Things to Do After Graduating College

I've had a hard time thinking of new things to write about, so I've decided to reflect on my first few weeks of post-graduation life and give a few recommendations on how to become an out-of-college, out-of-work, single 22 year-old who seems destined to move back in to his old high school bedroom. Trust me, it's much cooler than it sounds.

1. Stay in Shape
   While I've never been the face of men's health, endless amounts of pickup basketball has allowed my body to stay in a form that looks relatively human.   Now that pickup games in The Woodlands are seemingly non-existent and I'm not allowed in the Texas A&M rec center post-graduation, I've had to improvise.  (I have officially retired the USA Starburys.  My new bball shoes--another patriotic pair of  red, white, and blue Nikes, have sat in the backseat of my car unused for about a month).  I don't think I'll ever turn into the ultrarunner than Christopher McDougall's book Born to Run inspires me to be, but a little bit of running every day has allowed me to keep my sanity, not to mention prevent me from looking like Tommy Boy.  Plus, one of the best things about the town is the scenery, which I'll take over treadmilling every time.

2. Pick Up a New Show
   While I continue to look for a job, I've had some free time to start up the show Chuck.  Contrary to my friend Janisch's minority belief, this show is absolutely in the top three hour-long shows currently airing (along with Justified and Dexter).  Now, when I say I've had some free time, I should admit that I watched the first three seasons in two weeks.  (But it should be noted that my roommates and I actually started this show during finals week.  What can I say...my finals didn't really count towards my final grade so I kinda stopped caring.  BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MEN DO.)

3. Reconnect with High School Friends
   It's inevitable to come back to my hometown during holidays and summers without running into a myriad of people that went to my high school.  I used to dread going to bars here because I figured there was a reason why I didn't stay in touch with them over the years.  That being said, I have reconnected with some old high school friends in the past few weeks where it feels like we have barely parted from the halls of College Park High.  After going through separate but similar experiences in the past four years, it's refreshing to catch up with old acquaintances and hear about their successes.  (One thing I'd recommend: if you are going to talk to someone, at least feign interest in them.  Recently I had someone whom I've kept in relatively decent touch with over the years, someone whom I've even seen multiple times in the past six months, literally ask me why I was wearing a class ring and what college I graduated from.  Now I know I've been to a few schools...but seriously?  Very cool.  Needless to say, I don't think she's one of the six people reading this blog.)

4. Groom Yourself
   Gone are the days where I could grow facial hair for fun (unless I fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming Ernest Hemingway...minus the alcoholism).  Even long hair doesn't feel as cool as it once did and I'm considering buzzing my head just like the old days.  (Somewhere my sister is ecstatic.)

5. Become a Vagabond
    Between my duplex in College Station and my parent's place in The Woodlands, I have no permanent home right now.  I feel like a drifter from an old western, sliding from town to town with no end in sight.  I am not a big fan of making plans...or as my friend Cale recently put it last week, "My summer plans end tomorrow morning when I return my Uhaul."  Minus the job hunt, I'm right there with him.

6. Get a Record Player
    My dad is a music aficionado.  He grew up listening to some of the greatest music of all-time: The Beatles, The Grass Roots, Three Dog Night, Wilson Pickett, Gladys Knight, The Doors, The Turtles, etc.  I recently found his old vinyl records and was immediately transported back to 60s and 70s.  Over 300 albums, you name it, he had it.  After finding his record player, I spend most of my free time (I've caught up with Chuck, after all) listening to the old records in my room while wearing a v-neck and red Toms-knockoff shoes.  You don't have to tell me...I am so cool and don't look like a tool at all!  (Speaking of the shoes, my friend Alya recently said "You know what they say about red shoes: only children and prostitutes wear them."  Well, I graduated college....so I'm not a child.

7. Catch Up on Reading
   As an English major, I have been forced to read some mundane books over the years against my will.  No I would not like to read a tenth consecutive book about racial inequality.  Yes, I realize it is a very important topic and that white people are the devil, but reading literally nothing but books of that genre eventually takes its toll on a person.  Now that I am done with college, I am free to read all the Animorph and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books that I want.  (Kidding...I just said I wasn't a child.)

8. Sneak into Movies
   Just because I am supposed to be a grown up, keeping myself well-kempt and well-dressed, doesn't mean that the audacious movie prices in The Woodlands are okay.  Over $10 for a Friday night movie ticket?  Would you like my firstborn child as well?  If you're making me pay $7 for a matinee to see the awful movie Priest, you better believe my friends and I are going to sneak into a few other movies, 7th grade-style.  Tip: Be confident... act like you know what you're doing and no one will ask questions.  (Yes, I just gave a tip on how to sneak into a movie theater...this is happening...)

9. Come Up With a New Catch-Phrase
   Sadly, I can't take full credit for this.  Janisch and I were hanging by the pool one day and we came up with a slightly uncreative but effective catch phrase: "slide."  You can use it at any point in any conversation.  Examples: 1) Hey what time do you want me to slide over? 2) I can slide with that. 3) We're just sliding right now. (If you can't tell, I'm slowly sliding into insanity.)

10. Plan a Cross Country Road Trip
   It's in the early stages, but it's gonnnnna happen. 

I hope everyone's summers are off to a good start.  Good luck as you may be beginning the next stage of your life.  And thank you for spending a few minutes inside my frenzied mind.

-PB

The Wonder Years

Friday is college graduation.

It's been an interesting ride, to say the least. After attending three universities, living with nine different roommates, making countless lifelong friends, and scribing one hilariously amateur blog, I am graduating in four years. While I am a big fan of self-deprecation, being able to say I got my diploma on time, especially after considering my many misadventures, is something that I am pretty damn proud of. Never in a million years did I think I could get through this; I definitely didn't get through it alone. I got by with a little help from my friends, The Wonder Years-style. While my future is more uncertain than the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey (unless you read the book), this week I really want to reminisce about college life one last time. Here are some of my favorite stories, in no particular order, that I am willing to share. I hope you enjoy them.

1. Catching a cat with a trashcan and a 100 ft Ethernet cable - Freshman Year
My freshman year I lived on the second story of an apartment complex that backed up next to a forest. A plethora of wildlife lived back there, but for about a month a lone orange kitten caught our eye as it would constantly duck under the fence and sit at the bottom of our steps. One day my roommates and I decided that we would catch the cat and give it to the humane society. And what is the best way to do that, you ask? Well, we bought a can of catnip, grabbed our trashcan, and strapped our 100-ft Ethernet cable (crazy to think that 4 years ago we didn't have any access to Wi-Fi!) to the lid. As I stood on the balcony of our apartment, we waited for the kitten to investigate the strange contraption, closing the lid shut as soon as the cat went inside the trashcan. If that story isn't convincing young people the importance of college, I don't know what is.

(Just to give you an idea how weird we were, my frosh roommies and I would put this clown vacuum in the most random places, including the shower and closets, in order to scare each other.)

2. Beating Super Mario 64 - Freshman Year
I'll take it to my grave that Super Mario 64 is by far the single greatest videogame ever created. I remember growing up getting so frustrated that I couldn't beat it and vowed that I someday would take down Bowser once and for all. So my cat-nabbing freshman roommates Erich, Robbie, Evan, and I spent over three months slowly chipping away at the game until we finally collected all 120 stars. Easily the highlight of my time at UTSA. Hopefully I will not have to take it to my grave that this was the highlight of my life. Kidding. I topped it already... by winning several championships and MVP awards on NBA 2K.

3. The Cactus Incident - Freshman Year
We're still at UTSA here, specifically early December after finals were completed. We lived within ten minutes walking distance to a Whataburger and late one night we decided it was time we embarked on the journey for some BoB sausages (Breakfast on a Bun, fools. It's an inside joke.) Granted, the ten minutes were through the dark and ominous woods. Also keep in mind we're living in arid San Antonio. Long story short, I may or may not have fallen into a cactus plant and let me tell you that, contrary to popular belief, falling into one does not feel like falling onto a beanbag chair. I feel like I was pulling out thorns well after Valentine's Day.
The cactus may have won that battle, but I won the war. Shortly into the spring semester that area was demolished for a shopping center, so that cactus is long gone. One time we tried to get into the machinery to take it out ourselves, but that's a different story.

4. Growing a hideous beard - Freshman Year

(Freshman Ryan...so much I want to tell you, but...I can't.)

5. "No onions!" - Senior Year
A late night stop at Taco Bell where I refused to give my order, only yelling "No onions!" to my roommate Joe. Of course, Taco Bell still gave me onions.

6. Jackhammering My Leg - Junior Year
The summer before I started school at Texas A&M I worked as a contractor's assistant here in College Station. We mainly worked odd jobs, including assembling door frames, ceiling fans, etc. On one occasion we were asked to do demolition, jackhammer and everything. We were taking out a concrete staircase when part of a rock landed right above my ankle. I could see my bone. I got several stitches. I won't post the pictures out of respect for my right ankle. Oh, and you guys.

7. Road tripping to Miami - Sophomore Year

My sophomore year at OU culminated with the football team making it to the National Championship game in Miami to take on the Florida Gators. My friends Cale and Chase joined me in the drive from Houston. Chase even bought a $600 radar detector to help shave some time off our drive. (A good three hours at that. I promise we were cruisin' at a safe 105.) While the game didn't exactly go the way we planned (playing a Florida school in Miami did not do us any favors), I had an incredible time checking out the east coast, even getting a chance to catch the sunrise in Daytona one morning.

(I know what you're thinking... I'm so indie and cool.)

Despite Cale believing he was about to be impaled by a post on the road, an Asian man screaming for me to enter my debit card's "PIN NUMBAAAAAA" at a gas station, and my late shift from 11 PM-6AM ending with me hallucinating that a crane had fallen onto the highway (true story, I was a zombie after staying awake for that long), we made it safely back to Houston. Once we were back, Chase returned the radar detector for full price, saying it was a gift that he didn't want. What can I say, it is the Sooner way.

(Also, we snuck onto the apartment complex where Dexter lived.)

8. Driving into a tornado - Sophomore Year
One of my OU roommates, Rick, was driving from Norman to drop a friend off at his house in Edmond, Oklahoma. Naturally, I decided to tag along. Naturally, a natural disaster formed mere miles from us as we ignorantly listened to Kings of Leon.

9. "This isn't Homeward Bound." - Senior Year
My friends and I were at the lake house enjoying a day out in the sun when two mangy, soaking wet dogs ran down the steps to where we were laying out. After several of the girls oohed and aahed at the pups, my friend Hupp snapped at them to get out. After several shocked moments, Hupp turned to the rest of us with a triumphant grin on his face, saying "This isn't Homeward Bound." I'm not sure he would have caught that cat with us freshman year.

10. Bringing back Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark - Forever
I bought bootleg DVDs of the entire series to both shows and got my friends hooked on them again. I even tried to use them as after-date hangouts on an occasion or two. It may or may not have worked...because who can resist a college-aged kid who watches scary children's shows?

11. Getting my Aggie Ring.

(I'm in the club now)

12. Rickesh's 21st Bday - Junior Year
A group of us spent the night on the Riverwalk in San Antonio and stayed at his family's unopened hotel by ourselves. When my friend Janisch believed the party was dying down - "This just went from a 21st birthday party to a hostage situation." Typical.

13. Going with Rickesh as Turk and JD for Halloween - Senior Year

(Awesome on so many levels....wrong hair color...wrong race...why not?)

14. Nick vs. the Hornet's Nest - Senior Year
My roommates and I have had a year-long war against the hornets that live outside our apartment. When I first moved in, a terrifying nest of over twenty hornets was located at the top corner of our living room window. Nick, who had just gotten back from Germany less than a month beforehand, decided the best way to get them was to throw an empty bottle at the nest. He missed, instead shattering the window. The hornets went everywhere. Welcome back to America.

15. Having a NASCAR-themed Christmas Tree - Junior Year
My junior year roommate Jeremy loved NASCAR. I came home one night to him and his girlfriend putting up a small tree in our living room, insisting that they do it alone. I came back out of my room thirty minutes later to see that the tree is decorated with nothing but Dale Earnhardt, Jr. ornaments. It was ridiculous. We did have a Darth Vader as our angel on top, though.

16. Road House Intramurals - Senior Year
So close...still the best basketball team I've ever played on.

17. The Colorado Trips - Junior/Senior Year

I'm blessed that I am able to take friends to my family's cabin out in the mountains. We have been the past two Januarys. Between the long road trips (and marathon games of Catch Phrase), the skiing (and finally getting the courage to go down some Blues), the hiking (Garden of the Gods is incredible), the snowball fights ("I said no ice balls!"), the casino gambling (and losing), the charades (T.Whitt is the master), and the high school basketball-watching (At the girls' 2 hr long game..."Keep the clock runnnning"), these are some of the best times I've had in the past four years.

18. Schooling Ryan Swope - Senior Year
Granted, we were playing basketball at the Rec Center. He is a star receiver on the football team so if he wanted to end my life, I'm sure he could. However, it was pretty cool dueling with him while a bunch of people watched. Hitting the game-winning three-pointer on him more than made up for getting dunked on, right?

19. Sharing my first short story - Senior Year
Most of my life I have written. As early as seven years old, I would write my own Goosebumps and Animorphs stories in the backseat during long road trips with my family. I never let anyone read my stories though, fearful that I would get laughed at. Fifteen years later, I'm still fearful, but I started this awful blog as a way to slowly become more comfortable with sharing things. I just finished my first short story for class to mixed results. Baby steps. Thanks for sticking with me.

20. Sharing my testimony in Germany - Junior Year

(Just signing some autographs...NBD.)

I went with my hometown church to Germany for their annual baseball camp mission trip one summer. I was in charge of batting, which is funny because I hadn't played an official game of baseball in over ten years. That didn't stop the German children from asking if I was going to be a professional athlete after bombing some into the outfield (I felt like a BA). The trip was life-changing for so many people as we were able to share Christ with children and parents alike. On the last night, I volunteered to share my testimony in front of hundreds of German citizens. With the help of a translator, it was one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. I am so very grateful that I could do it.



I'm sure there are plenty of stories that I'm forgetting, but I should really get back to studying for finals. Thanks everyone.

-PB (very cool video)