The Wonder Years

Friday is college graduation.

It's been an interesting ride, to say the least. After attending three universities, living with nine different roommates, making countless lifelong friends, and scribing one hilariously amateur blog, I am graduating in four years. While I am a big fan of self-deprecation, being able to say I got my diploma on time, especially after considering my many misadventures, is something that I am pretty damn proud of. Never in a million years did I think I could get through this; I definitely didn't get through it alone. I got by with a little help from my friends, The Wonder Years-style. While my future is more uncertain than the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey (unless you read the book), this week I really want to reminisce about college life one last time. Here are some of my favorite stories, in no particular order, that I am willing to share. I hope you enjoy them.

1. Catching a cat with a trashcan and a 100 ft Ethernet cable - Freshman Year
My freshman year I lived on the second story of an apartment complex that backed up next to a forest. A plethora of wildlife lived back there, but for about a month a lone orange kitten caught our eye as it would constantly duck under the fence and sit at the bottom of our steps. One day my roommates and I decided that we would catch the cat and give it to the humane society. And what is the best way to do that, you ask? Well, we bought a can of catnip, grabbed our trashcan, and strapped our 100-ft Ethernet cable (crazy to think that 4 years ago we didn't have any access to Wi-Fi!) to the lid. As I stood on the balcony of our apartment, we waited for the kitten to investigate the strange contraption, closing the lid shut as soon as the cat went inside the trashcan. If that story isn't convincing young people the importance of college, I don't know what is.

(Just to give you an idea how weird we were, my frosh roommies and I would put this clown vacuum in the most random places, including the shower and closets, in order to scare each other.)

2. Beating Super Mario 64 - Freshman Year
I'll take it to my grave that Super Mario 64 is by far the single greatest videogame ever created. I remember growing up getting so frustrated that I couldn't beat it and vowed that I someday would take down Bowser once and for all. So my cat-nabbing freshman roommates Erich, Robbie, Evan, and I spent over three months slowly chipping away at the game until we finally collected all 120 stars. Easily the highlight of my time at UTSA. Hopefully I will not have to take it to my grave that this was the highlight of my life. Kidding. I topped it already... by winning several championships and MVP awards on NBA 2K.

3. The Cactus Incident - Freshman Year
We're still at UTSA here, specifically early December after finals were completed. We lived within ten minutes walking distance to a Whataburger and late one night we decided it was time we embarked on the journey for some BoB sausages (Breakfast on a Bun, fools. It's an inside joke.) Granted, the ten minutes were through the dark and ominous woods. Also keep in mind we're living in arid San Antonio. Long story short, I may or may not have fallen into a cactus plant and let me tell you that, contrary to popular belief, falling into one does not feel like falling onto a beanbag chair. I feel like I was pulling out thorns well after Valentine's Day.
The cactus may have won that battle, but I won the war. Shortly into the spring semester that area was demolished for a shopping center, so that cactus is long gone. One time we tried to get into the machinery to take it out ourselves, but that's a different story.

4. Growing a hideous beard - Freshman Year

(Freshman Ryan...so much I want to tell you, but...I can't.)

5. "No onions!" - Senior Year
A late night stop at Taco Bell where I refused to give my order, only yelling "No onions!" to my roommate Joe. Of course, Taco Bell still gave me onions.

6. Jackhammering My Leg - Junior Year
The summer before I started school at Texas A&M I worked as a contractor's assistant here in College Station. We mainly worked odd jobs, including assembling door frames, ceiling fans, etc. On one occasion we were asked to do demolition, jackhammer and everything. We were taking out a concrete staircase when part of a rock landed right above my ankle. I could see my bone. I got several stitches. I won't post the pictures out of respect for my right ankle. Oh, and you guys.

7. Road tripping to Miami - Sophomore Year

My sophomore year at OU culminated with the football team making it to the National Championship game in Miami to take on the Florida Gators. My friends Cale and Chase joined me in the drive from Houston. Chase even bought a $600 radar detector to help shave some time off our drive. (A good three hours at that. I promise we were cruisin' at a safe 105.) While the game didn't exactly go the way we planned (playing a Florida school in Miami did not do us any favors), I had an incredible time checking out the east coast, even getting a chance to catch the sunrise in Daytona one morning.

(I know what you're thinking... I'm so indie and cool.)

Despite Cale believing he was about to be impaled by a post on the road, an Asian man screaming for me to enter my debit card's "PIN NUMBAAAAAA" at a gas station, and my late shift from 11 PM-6AM ending with me hallucinating that a crane had fallen onto the highway (true story, I was a zombie after staying awake for that long), we made it safely back to Houston. Once we were back, Chase returned the radar detector for full price, saying it was a gift that he didn't want. What can I say, it is the Sooner way.

(Also, we snuck onto the apartment complex where Dexter lived.)

8. Driving into a tornado - Sophomore Year
One of my OU roommates, Rick, was driving from Norman to drop a friend off at his house in Edmond, Oklahoma. Naturally, I decided to tag along. Naturally, a natural disaster formed mere miles from us as we ignorantly listened to Kings of Leon.

9. "This isn't Homeward Bound." - Senior Year
My friends and I were at the lake house enjoying a day out in the sun when two mangy, soaking wet dogs ran down the steps to where we were laying out. After several of the girls oohed and aahed at the pups, my friend Hupp snapped at them to get out. After several shocked moments, Hupp turned to the rest of us with a triumphant grin on his face, saying "This isn't Homeward Bound." I'm not sure he would have caught that cat with us freshman year.

10. Bringing back Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark - Forever
I bought bootleg DVDs of the entire series to both shows and got my friends hooked on them again. I even tried to use them as after-date hangouts on an occasion or two. It may or may not have worked...because who can resist a college-aged kid who watches scary children's shows?

11. Getting my Aggie Ring.

(I'm in the club now)

12. Rickesh's 21st Bday - Junior Year
A group of us spent the night on the Riverwalk in San Antonio and stayed at his family's unopened hotel by ourselves. When my friend Janisch believed the party was dying down - "This just went from a 21st birthday party to a hostage situation." Typical.

13. Going with Rickesh as Turk and JD for Halloween - Senior Year

(Awesome on so many levels....wrong hair color...wrong race...why not?)

14. Nick vs. the Hornet's Nest - Senior Year
My roommates and I have had a year-long war against the hornets that live outside our apartment. When I first moved in, a terrifying nest of over twenty hornets was located at the top corner of our living room window. Nick, who had just gotten back from Germany less than a month beforehand, decided the best way to get them was to throw an empty bottle at the nest. He missed, instead shattering the window. The hornets went everywhere. Welcome back to America.

15. Having a NASCAR-themed Christmas Tree - Junior Year
My junior year roommate Jeremy loved NASCAR. I came home one night to him and his girlfriend putting up a small tree in our living room, insisting that they do it alone. I came back out of my room thirty minutes later to see that the tree is decorated with nothing but Dale Earnhardt, Jr. ornaments. It was ridiculous. We did have a Darth Vader as our angel on top, though.

16. Road House Intramurals - Senior Year
So close...still the best basketball team I've ever played on.

17. The Colorado Trips - Junior/Senior Year

I'm blessed that I am able to take friends to my family's cabin out in the mountains. We have been the past two Januarys. Between the long road trips (and marathon games of Catch Phrase), the skiing (and finally getting the courage to go down some Blues), the hiking (Garden of the Gods is incredible), the snowball fights ("I said no ice balls!"), the casino gambling (and losing), the charades (T.Whitt is the master), and the high school basketball-watching (At the girls' 2 hr long game..."Keep the clock runnnning"), these are some of the best times I've had in the past four years.

18. Schooling Ryan Swope - Senior Year
Granted, we were playing basketball at the Rec Center. He is a star receiver on the football team so if he wanted to end my life, I'm sure he could. However, it was pretty cool dueling with him while a bunch of people watched. Hitting the game-winning three-pointer on him more than made up for getting dunked on, right?

19. Sharing my first short story - Senior Year
Most of my life I have written. As early as seven years old, I would write my own Goosebumps and Animorphs stories in the backseat during long road trips with my family. I never let anyone read my stories though, fearful that I would get laughed at. Fifteen years later, I'm still fearful, but I started this awful blog as a way to slowly become more comfortable with sharing things. I just finished my first short story for class to mixed results. Baby steps. Thanks for sticking with me.

20. Sharing my testimony in Germany - Junior Year

(Just signing some autographs...NBD.)

I went with my hometown church to Germany for their annual baseball camp mission trip one summer. I was in charge of batting, which is funny because I hadn't played an official game of baseball in over ten years. That didn't stop the German children from asking if I was going to be a professional athlete after bombing some into the outfield (I felt like a BA). The trip was life-changing for so many people as we were able to share Christ with children and parents alike. On the last night, I volunteered to share my testimony in front of hundreds of German citizens. With the help of a translator, it was one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. I am so very grateful that I could do it.



I'm sure there are plenty of stories that I'm forgetting, but I should really get back to studying for finals. Thanks everyone.

-PB (very cool video)

Feast and Famine: Longhorns, Aggies, and a Healthy Case of Flip-Flopping

Sorry about the long wait since my last post about the Houston Rockets, but I was taking the rest of the week off, much like the Rockets.  Plus, Nick's posts were difficult to top so I decided to lay low until they blew over.

Someday soon I plan on writing about my personal experiences as a Big 12 South student, seeing as I'm somewhat of an expert (or perhaps just a floozy...I've attended several schools in my collegiate career that directly conflict with each other as Big 12 rivals).  However, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to talk about the quasi-epic showdown going down on Thanksgiving night in Austin, Texas between Texas A&M University and the University of Texas.

This season has been interesting for the Aggies and Longhorns, highlighted by some good coaching decisions (welcome to the field, Tannehill) and some bad player decisions (ehh, Gilbert Grape).  The roles between the two teams have also switched this year, as the unranked Longhorns plan to play spoiler to #17 Texas A&M.  I know how ridiculous it sounds when I say that the Aggies are the favorite to win this Thursday's game.  What am I going to tell you next, that tigers could be extinct soon?  Oh, wait.  To top it all off, this game pits the Smith family against each other in a most unusual way.

With the exception of my Aggie brother-in-law, my family bleeds more burnt orange than Bevo himself.  My dad, who my friends and I lovingly nicknamed Red after his uncanny resemblance to the great character on That 70s Show (seriously, put a full head of hair on Kurtwood Smith and he is my dad), has always taken me to games since I was a little kid.  My mom and sister know more about football than all of the ignorant t-shirt Longhorn fans (you know who you are... and you're the Worst.)  If that's not enough, my great uncle even built the famous fountain outside of the football stadium.  Needless to say, I was raised a Longhorn fan throughout my entire youth, brainwashed so effectively that I decided to attend UT's affiliate school in San Antonio rather than Texas A&M my freshman year in hopes of attending school in Austin my sophomore year.  Long story short, I saw my sophomore self pulling a wild card, reneging on my acceptance letter to UT and instead choosing to attend Oklahoma University.  An even longer and more outlandish story short, I found myself coming full circle at Texas A&M University, the school I had once forsaken, for my junior year.  I was harder to keep in one place than the island on Lost, and despite much playful prodding from friends, I still remain in College Station for my final year.  (Like I said, if you're interested in the longer story, I promise I will go into further detail on the ridiculousness of my situation someday down the road.  If you're not interested, well...here's the Door.)

Saying my collegiate experience has been unconventional is more redundant than saying Bo Pelini has severe anger issues.

Here at Texas A&M, the saying is that 98% of the student body is wholeheartedly invested in the traditions, football yells, and other cult-like happenings at the school...labeling everyone who isn't a "two-percenter."  After years and years of being a Longhorn fan, combined with the one magical year at OU that culminated in driving eighteen hours straight with my friends from Houston to Miami to watch them play in the National Championship game, I was quick to call myself a 2%er here at A&M.  Because as much as I like rooting for my college, I was a little weary of doing the same mundane yells, such as the "BTHO" yell, endless times during Aggie games.   Not to mention that I still think it's more than a little ridiculous that we Aggies feel the need to give UT so much credence by 'sawing Varsity's horns off' and having these decals on our cars.  (Come on, Ags, we're a big-time university.  Let's worry about our own school and stop acting like UT's kid brother.)  However, I have come around during my time here, going as far as preparing to order my Aggie ring and actually having pride in it.  Although I'm still probably a "two-percenter" in the traditional sense, I still think Texas A&M is an incredible university and that there's no school I'd rather be at.  (If none of this makes sense to you, I apologize.  Just know that while I'm not the greatest Aggie, I've come a long way in the past year and a half.  I really couldn't be prouder to be a student at Texas A&M.)

This past weekend proved to be the biggest game for Texas A&M football in over ten years.  Students set a record by pulling over 30,000 tickets to the game vs. #8 Nebraska.  There was more hype and optimism surrounding this game in College Station than there was in Portland after drafting Greg Oden a few years ago.  Although College Gameday unwisely chose to be apart of the circus at Wrigley Field, Herbstreit and Musberger were coming to do the commentary for the game on ABC.  This game was undoubtedly a big deal here.

Yet instead of showing my new found Aggie fandom, I found myself in Austin, Texas, taking in the rather unspectacular game between the Longhorns and the Florida Atlantic Owls.  A family friend from Colorado was visiting Texas for the first time ever and seeing as he is in high school and my parents still consider George Strait cool, I tagged along upon their request to keep him company and help show him around the campus that I spent my entire life thinking I would be attending.  (This included Red pointing out his picture from his intramural basketball team that still hangs in Gregory Gym nearly forty years later, as well as this nonchalant gem--"There's the tower... sometimes people go up there and shoot other people."  My family has a very dark yet hilarious sense of humor.  I love it.) In true 2% fashion, I gave away my student ticket to my final home game in College Station without hesitation.  But despite their continuous gratitude, my parents should know that it isn't necessary, because even if I knew how entertaining the Aggie game was going to be compared to the blow-out game in Austin, I would make the same decision again.  Family comes first.  (Cliche statements come second.)

So this Thanksgiving will once again stir a house divided (I expect the game to be closer than expected, with A&M prevailing in the end), yet at the end of the day I am happy to be blessed with such an awe-inspiring family.  And although my group of best friends are mixed between what feels like every Big 12 school and our allegiances run strong here in the south, I'm grateful that I can call each and every one a friend, even if we are quick to make fun of each other (some more than others).  So love your family and friends this holiday season and enjoy the game.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Oh yeah, and go Ags!

-PB