Ty and Ryan's Fictional Hunger Games (Part I)

Welcome to the First Annual Fictional Hunger Games, brought to you by Ryan and myself. We will be acting as both the Gamemakers and the Capitol. Allow me to explain what we’ve got goin’ on here. Seven tributes each will be taken from three different districts representing Movies, Television and Literature, with three more coming from our “wildcard” tributes. They will, obviously, fight to the death in the arena of my mind. Ry and I will take turn narrating. Let’s begin by introducing our randomly selected tributes!

(Willy Wonka - Featured Tribute)

MOVIE DISTRICT - The Movie District will be mentored by widely-claimed awesome dude, John McClain of Die Hard fame.  This group should be well-prepared to deliver fantastic post-killing one-liners. McClain became a Hunger Games sensation when he dominated the competition last year. Representing the Movie District will be:

• Rudy Ruettiger – The famous try-hard and titular character in the movie, Rudy. This should be interesting; he’s clearly determined and tough but he’ll have to watch out for more than a pulling left guard in these games.
• Adrian Balboa - The worst female character in any move, ever. I anticipate that she’ll be largely negative, whiny and will probably drag one of the male favorites down. She may even squeeze in a classic “You can’t win!!” Everyone aim for Adrian (I’ll try to be an unbiased commentator but for AB I’m making an exception).
• Kevin McCallister - This is an interesting entry. He’s small and a child but you can’t say he’s unprepared. This precocious victim of chronic parental neglect is very resourceful has defended him house before.
• Katniss Everdeen - Wow, this poor girl can’t catch a break. She should, however, be a real contender. Her hunting skills and experience in the Games will make surely make her one of the early favorites. (Reminder, this is Katniss from the movie not from the book, no “Catching Fire” influence here. Also, as it is the movie-Katniss, feel free to picture Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss, I know I will…)
• Dalton - You may remember this classic Swayze character as a philosophical bouncer with a penchant for ripping out throats and a heart of gold. He has a distinct advantage of being an enlightened drifter, and if that doesn't sell you, his boastful claim of "Pain don't hurt" will, though his downfall could be a pretty young blonde or a loveable loser (Ryan included this to imply Dalton's inevitable pairing with Marcia Brady and Charlie Kelly.  More on them below.)
• Willy Wonka – The Candy Man can? We’ll see…The tables will be somewhat turned on Wonka, who infamously subjected a group of unlucky (but admittedly awful) children to a contest-tour through the sadistic house of horrors he calls a chocolate factory. Certainly these games will be quite the departure from Wonka’s own, undoubtedly acid-influenced, “contest.” This time he will NOT be the master of puppets and there will be no little orange people sing-songing ethical warnings while contestants exit the arena but rather the cold steel of a body-retrieving hover craft and an unceremonious canon blast to announce your “exit” from the games.
• Nicholas Cage – A shocker, a true shocker. Apparently Nic Cage has done so many unremarkable movies lately that he himself has become a fictional character. This “Nic Cage” tribute will likely be some strange amalgam of many of Nic Cage’s recent roles as well as his seemingly fictional real life. He may be a tough competitor though, as he’ll likely bring motor-cycle stunts and an encyclopedic knowledge of American history to the table. Also, he may be a vampire and therefore un-killable, so this must at least be taken into consideration. It’ll be interesting to see what the Vegas odds-makers make of this unexpected and unprecedented entry.

 (Miss Piggy - Featured Tribute)

TELEVISION DISTRICT - Mentored by the ever-soothing (apparently not a real-life sniper, though I remain unconvinced) personality of Mr. Rogers himself. Mr. Rogers had a remarkable and frankly unsettling showing in the games a couple of years ago when he lulled everyone into a false sense of security with his warm tone, slow speech and knitwear… he then proceeded to NOT be very neighborly. Representing the Television District will be:

• Steve Urkel - This looks like an early exit unless Steve can somehow find a way put his science skills to work. Piercing nasally voices and clumsiness do not typically fare well in the games.
• Miss Piggy - The Muppet queen. She’s belligerent, she loves Kermit the Frog, you all know and love her. Well, you all know her at least. Piggy may end up being a force in the arena; she is low to the ground but she’s got some weight to throw around and she's proven on countless occasions that she’s not to be messed with when her fury has been aroused.
• Dwight Schrute - Here is a true competitor and a serious contender. Although he did lose a hand-to-hand battle with Michael Scott, he has no scruples when it comes to survival and he’s good with a bottle of pepper spray.
• Charlie Kelly – The Dayman himself. Charlie strikes me as more of a lover than a fighter, and by lover of course I mean stalker. He tends, also, to be more of a follower (stalker pun INtended) than a leader so it wouldn’t surprise me if he tries to cling on to someone bigger and stronger than himself.
• Marcia Brady - The All-American girl who made her sisters jealous and her brothers swoon. Since Greg Brady won’t be around to hint at any illicit love affairs, Marcia will have to pray that an impressionable young man will take her by the hand and protect her nose from any and all incoming doom.
• Horatio – Although there are more things in heaven and earth, than dreamt of in Horatio’s philosophy, he should still be a rational, competent player that…What’s that? Oh, Horatio from CSI: Miami, I see. Full disclosure, the Gamemakers placed Horatio into the Hunger Games to purely broaden the viewer demographic, and who can do that better than a pun-swinging, sunglass-wearing detective on a CBS procedural drama?
• Kate Austen – The Lost heroine. An intriguing character known for her uncanny ability to track people without any proper training as well as an innate ability to climb trees. If anything, look for her to play tributes against each other in an annoying love triangle.

 (Willy Loman - Featured Tribute)

LITERATURE DISTRICT – The Literature District will be mentored by Waldo of “Where’s Waldo?” fame. Waldo won the Games several years ago when, fortuitously, the Games were held in an arena designed to resemble a giant peppermint factory. Waldo simply disappeared. He was not found until he gave himself up shortly after all the final seven competitors (unable to track down Waldo after weeks of searching) took their own lives in frustration. Only then was Waldo ever spotted (even by the audience), as he came out of hiding to claim victory. Sticking his head out from behind a candy cane and waving, Waldo wore the same closed-mouthed, mild expression he entered the arena with as the announcer proclaimed him winner. Representing the Literature District will be:

• Willy Loman – Traveling salesman, adulterer and generally sad main character of Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman…We might get to see a new interpretation of that play in the Games…
• Hester Prynne – (In Michael Buffer voice) Iconic protagonist of American literature, often imitated but never duplicated, known the world over by a single red letterrrrr, Ladies and Gentlemen, Hester “The Puritan Pariahhhhhhh” Paaaaarrrrrryyyyynnnneee!!! Another tough break for poor Hester. We’ll see if she casts a few stones herself or waits to be pushed. If she makes it to the latter part of the games I’d watch for her to team up.
• Harry Potter - YIKES, HP vs. Katniss…the final showdown. Unfortunately for Harry there is no magic in the Hunger Games (unless you count the magic of mortal combat) so we’ll get to see how much of a crutch that wand has become. Maybe a surprise sleeper pick here though, after all, he is “the boy who lived.”
• Yossarian - The bombardier stuck in a Catch-22 during WWII won’t be catching any breaks here in the arena, either. While the only way to get out of the army was by declaring himself insane (which in turn proved his sanity, thus keeping him in the army), the only way Yossarian will get out of the arena is ignoring any debilitating paradoxes…
• Boo Radley - More myth than man, not much can be said of this contestant.
• Helen of Troy – The face that launched a thousand ships. The famous beauty and lover of Paris. She should certainly get plenty of support from the sponsors but I would imagine her best strategy would be to use her looks to manipulate the competition or at the least to secure some protection from one of the stronger male players. By comparison, Marcia Brady now looks only slightly more appealing than Danny DeVito doing hot yoga. Unfortunately for Marcia Marcia Marcia, her “snag a protector” strategy (if that is her strategy…and it is) seems now less likely to succeed.
• Lennie Small – The dim yet faithful farmhand from Of Mice and Men. Although he may not willingly hurt a fly, Lenny’s propensity for crushing bunnies and ranch wives may actually come in handy in the arena. This is especially true if he realizes he is truly “livin’ on the fatta’ the lan’."
  

WILDCARD DISTRICT - Yes, there are three tributes taken from the Wildcard District, there are no rules as to where this fictional character originates. The tributes will be mentored by former wildcard victor, the Jolly Green Giant. The Giant was absolutely dominant in his Games, but he had no excuse not to be, he’s green and enormous. He ended up just playing with other tributes alternating between hiding from them or just seizing them and crushing them with his vegetable-powered vice grip. Representing the Wildcards will be:

• Super Mario - The tiny Italian plumber who vaulted himself to worldwide fame by rescuing the Princess and jumping on things. Unfortunately for Mario there are unlikely to be any size-enhancing mushrooms (besides, we all know Wonka is going straight for any mushrooms in the arena) and he certainly won’t have multiple lives…
• The Hamburglar – The enigmatic burger thief. The dossier on the Hamburglar is incredibly thin. Where have you been Hamburglar? Why is it that, seemingly, everyone knows about the Hamburglar and yet no one can actually recall how they know about him or when exactly they discovered him? He is as elusive as they come (doesn’t even have his own Wikipedia page!!!). This much we do know: he wears a black and white jumpsuit, looooves hamburgers, and shows a certain disregard for property law. He is a wildcard in every sense of the word.
• Achilles – Well that’s unfortunate for everyone else. I’m not saying I’m ready to call this thing but I am saying that, barring a Woodsian meltdown, this competition is his to lose. I mean c’mon, its Achilles. On a side, note, the tension between Achilles and Helen of Troy may be an interesting sub-plot.
  

After the Reaping, here are the current Vegas odds:

1) Achilles - 1/3

2) Dalton - 10/1

3) Katniss - 20/1

4) Super Mario - 30/1

5) Dwight Schrute - 35/1

6) Nic Cage - 40/1

7) Willy Wonka – 60/1

8) Kate – 60/1

9) Kevin McCallister – 75/1

10) Horatio – 75/1

11) Rudy Ruettiger - 80/1

12) Helen of Troy - 90/1

13) The Hamburglar – 90/1

14) Yossarian – 90/1

15) Harry Potter – 100/1

16) Lenny – 120/1

17) Steve Urkel – 200/1

18) Charlie Kelly – 250/1

19) Marcia Brady – 300/1

20) Willy Loman – 400/1

21) Hester Prynne – 600/1

22) Miss Piggy – 800/1

23) Adrian Balboa – 1,000/1

24) Boo Radley - ?

Place your bets now, the action will commence in the next post...

A Farewell to Bunce, The Hefeweizen Hedgehog

(An old high school pic with Alya's back to us.  Claaaassic Alya.  And yes, I am wearing a headband and Gander Mountain cutoff.  Look the part, be the part.)

Some things seem predictable, some things almost preordained.  Texas A&M will always churn out top draft picks while simultaneously staying mediocre.  The Arrested Development movie will always be in pre-production until Gob can legitimately trade in his Segway for the hoverboard from Back to the Future II.  Russell Westbrook will always foolishly think he's better than Kevin Durant.  Lebron was always going to leave for Miami, and Nick Bunce was always going to leave for Germany.

I met Nick in high school during our junior year PreCal class.  He had just moved from Austin, and the first thing the rest of us noticed as the new kid walked in was that he had a goatee so gigantic that even John Salmons would have been impressed. No one else in the school even thought such facial hair could exist at that age.  (Seriously, Bunceadelphia's driver's license looks like he was just a young impressionable Amish kid excited about Rumspringa.)  It was written that we would be friends once we realized that we had a mutual interest in Lost, classic rock, and the criminally underrated (yet ever-changing) band Wolfmother.  

Bunce's fixation with Germany was pretty evident from the start.  (That Janisch and I didn't come up with the nickname "Hefeweizen Hedgehog" until last week is one of the great regrets in our life.)  He made a trip there after high school and spent an entire semester there in college.  Upon coming back for his final semester at A&M, it was clear that he was now a stranger in a strange land.  He was looking for something missing and itchin' like a hound, Charlie Kelly-style, to get back to what he now considered his home. 

And he found a way.

On his last night in America, it was pretty amazing how tangible the end of an era felt.  We hung atop of my friend Blake's new apartment with a perfect shot of the sprawling Houston skyline.  It was clear that we had come a long way from hanging out at the secluded lake house and that whether we are ready or not, the next stage of life is here.

So good luck Bunce.  I hope you find what you're looking for out there.

-PB

The Temp

  

 (I'm grateful that an all-too-easy "Ryan the Temp" nickname never caught on in my office)

It's been nearly eight months since I walked across the stage, shook this man's hand, and began this crazy journey that we call "the real world".   Gone were the days of playing basketball with my friends every afternoon, watching daytime TV, and skipping class to babysit my nieces and nephew.  I remember very distinctly having no clue what awaited me upon crossing over to the other side of the stage.  Compared to my friends Rachel (who works for Uncle Sam and currently has VERY impressive graduate schools drooling over her) and Cale (who disappeared into the Colorado wilderness to begin working on his PhD), my life was more uncertain than the ending to Blade Runner.

But, as I've mentioned before, I was fortunate enough to get my foot wedged in the door with an incredible oil and gas company..."on a temporary basis".  What that means is I work for an hourly wage with no paid vacation or benefits.  I was unable to take any time off for the holidays...and jokingly asked if I could work on the holidays the company gave us.  Yet I have an undying sense of optimism and was hopeful that someday the temporary tag would be lifted.

Which just so happened to be last week when I was offered a full-time position!

("Yes, I will take all of my vacation...now.")

But wait a minute... How can I seemingly have my life in order?  This time last year I was having a Valentine's Day date where I set off the fire alarm while cooking spaghetti and futilely tried to uncork a bottle of wine with a kitchen knife in front of her.  Now I'm supposed to start a 401K and keep up with our company's stock?  What's next?  (I guess if I am really following Ryan from The Office's footsteps, a huge promotion and subsequent arrest.)

Without getting too existential on everyone (a la Tree of Life), isn't everything temporary?  You would think so...yet it's strange how life changes while invariably staying the same.  From my interest in watching the Houston Rockets play themselves into basketball purgatory yearly, to a certain storyline from Kevin Arnold's life in The Wonder Years that eerily resembles my own, there are striking similarities between my life now and when I was 16 (maybe less).  

I still self-reflect by writing things down and listen to music made before my time.  The Rockets still meddle with mediocrity while the unattainable girl is still relatively unattainable.  

 Yet with my eternal optimism (which will either be my saving grace or tragic flaw), I've got to believe it's only temporary. 

-PB

Resolutions: A Charging Interests Comeback

 (Alya's love for superimposed dogs inspired this nightmarish post)

Just when the three of you thought Charging Interests was dead, I'm attempting a comeback of Tiki Barber-like proportions.  And just like that joke, this may get a little rough before it never gets better...

My life has been a whirlwind since graduating college.  Before I could even blink, I got my foot in the door with a very good oil and gas company and moved to downtown Houston.  Then, before I could fully fathom that my test-taking days (not to mention days of hooky) were over, Christmas had already passed and I was storing our shabby, poorly decorated tree back into my apartment closet.  I hadn't read anything that didn't involve expense report-spreadsheets or new hire policies in over two months.  (Luckily I put an end to that by starting East of Eden last week).  I still haven't taken a day of vacation since I started in June.  I guess the real world has hit me harder than reality hit Adam Morrison's career.

 (Yes, that is the same hat being used as our star.  Also, someone robbed our superfluous amount of presents.)

I typically think of New Years Resolutions as magical ideas where you can feasibly pretend that yesterday's problems will be solved by tomorrow.  If only life worked out like an episode of The Brady Bunch.  (I'm much more inclined to believe that it works out closer to The Wonder Years, right down to the fact that your sister gets with pre-Friends Ross and no one ends up with Winnie Cooper.)   Turns out that if you have a few problems on New Years' Eve, they're still going to be there when you wake up the next day in your neighbor's broken hot tub.  (#48: "Going for family friendly shock value" is on this year's resolution list.  So is #11: "lying for the sake of the post".  I actually woke up comfortably, albeit freezing, on a Hydra bed this year.)

This year I feel like more than ever I need a little of that magic that exists on New Years.  I'm tired of being a cautious, cynical drone who acts a little too much like a side character in his own life.  (What is this, the last part of Huck Finn?)  I'm not sure what's in store for me in 2012 (besides Doomsday, of course), but resolutions have been pouring out of me faster than an LSU fan's tears.  (Trash talk coming from a dispassionate Aggie fan? Just a variation of Resolution #21: Jump on more hate bandwagons.)

My resolutions this year range from absurd (#12: Drive to Maine), to ambitious (#4: Run 15 miles a week), to serious (#1: Give my real problems to God).  Despite my lofty goals (#17: Write a book with attempted substance), it's refreshing to know that although I haven't proven it much lately, my life passions haven't been completely muzzled. 

There's a lot of chaos and mystery floating around regarding my uncertain future, but I can feel a little New Year's Resolution magic floating around me harmoniously.

..but then again, I guess it's just a little hope.

-PB

Capricious Villains

I had an experience this morning that inspired me to write this post.  A very lovely girl walked up to the entrance of the coffee shop at the same time as I did.  Trying to avoid the inevitably awkward "who goes first?" move, I quickly rushed ahead and held the door open for her.  She gave me a beautiful, beaming smile and thanked me as I followed her inside.  (What can I say, my mom taught me right).  Inside the coffee shop, however, her beautiful, beaming smile turned into a terrifying scowl.  She proceeded to berate the barista for not making her latte hot enough and refused to let it go.  It got to the point that several people had to tell the girl to calm down, which only seemed to set her off more.

While my judgment of her could be completely based off of one bad day and she could very much be the lovely girl I initially assumed, her fate as a villain was sealed in my book at that moment.  Almost immediately she inspired me to consider characters that appear harmless on first appearance that ultimately turn out to be menaces.  What can I say, my mind rambles.


5. Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear, Toy Story 3

Lost in all the men-crying-in-the-theater nostalgia of this movie was, frankly, how big of a bastard Lotso was in Toy Story 3.  He made that baby doll cry, nearly got Woody and the gang  eviscerated by ravenous children, and almost turned the timeless Ken-and-Barbie relationship upside down.  (How would I have hope for a meaningful relationship if Ken and Barbie couldn't even work it out?)  His cane and grandfather-like demeanor was in stark contrast to his impending darkness.  He does get some style points for his over-the-top selfishness when he refused to save the toys from the incinerator, creating one of the most heartfelt and surprisingly dark scenes in Pixar history.

4. The Klopeks, The 'Burbs

When you think of Tom Hanks' movie career, you inevitably think about Forrest Gump, Cast Away, Saving Private Ryan, etc.  However, the movie that I will always love most is The 'Burbs.  Check it out sometime.  Fuss is made throughout the movie about the mysterious nature of Hanks and Princess Leia's next door neighbors, the Klopeks.  From their reclusive nature to their ominous hole digging in the rain, the neighbors come to the conclusion that they're up to something evil.  Yet when they finally meet, the Klopeks appear to be harmless (if not creepy and socially awkward).  But are they...?  Or are Hanks and his friends the evil ones? (I'm assuming I'm one of about 5 people my age who have actually seen this movie, so I won't spoil the awesomeness except to say, "Hey Pinocchio, where you going??")

3. The Convenience Store Characters, Cabin Fever

This movie took some very interesting turns.  At the beginning of the movie when the main characters were shopping in the store, the owner calmly asked the guy who stole the candy bar to return it without any problems.  The old guy with the beard did seem to be incredibly racist, so the convenience store people didn't get off crystal clean.  Then, this incredibly over-the-top-yet-tastefully-and-credibly-crafted-scene happened, and all hell broke loose.  The unassuming clerk went crazy and hunted the teens, Most Dangerous Game-style.  The only redeeming factor at the end of the movie for the convenience store was that the old man with the beard appeared to be slightly less racist than we first thought...


2. Alex and his gang, A Clockwork Orange

Alex and his gang don't look like much in the above picture, what with their Quailman-inspired outer-underwear.  However, within the first thirty minutes there are several inexplicable beatings, rapings, and spiked-milk chuggings...things that Quailman never would have stood for.  What's also surprising is Alex's stark contrast between his gang and his family.  To the gang, he was their leader with an affection for crime and Beethoven; his family, just a young teen who faked sick one-too-many times.  Even the government attempting to cure Alex via brainwashing couldn't stop his inner demons and proved once and for all that dystopian teens are doomed.

1. Brad Wesley, Road House

Brad Wesley's motives were one of the many unreasonable storylines in what has become my favorite movie of all-time.  An incredibly rich man living in a lawless town who decides it's in his best financial interest to steal from the many blue-collar citizens who inhabit it.  Wesley loved power...but not as much as he loved the unrealistically beautiful women of Jasper or hiring his hilarious henchmen.  His docile demeanor throughout most of the movie only exacerbates the plot.  Why does such a seemingly gentle man have so much hatrid for everyone in town?  And where are all the police officers while his henchmen run twenty-foot tires through car dealerships and explode barns and mechanic shops?  Brad Wesley don't care, he do what he wants.  He's relentless.

-PB

A Clockwork Maroon

(In this picture...Texas A&M is to Dim as Fate is to Alex)

Heartbreak is nothing new.  Remember that moment in your life when something you thought you trusted, something you thought was undeniably true, ended up coming back to bite you like a rabies-enraged collie dog?  I know you've been there before.  Whether it's your unrealistic idealization of that girl/guy crashing down to reality or your favorite show jumping the shark, it's a moment that makes your heart drop into your stomach like an anvil.

The students and alumni at Texas A&M have a unique aspect to this moment, for heartbreak is an old friend to the Aggies.

Let me start with the all-too-familiar disclaimer of "don't get me wrong, I still love my school."  Then let me follow that cliche by saying that as a former UTSA Roadrunner and Oklahoma Sooner who was raised in a heavily Longhorn-influenced family, my journey to Texas A&M is atypical to many of my peers.  I will be the first to admit I don't know most of the Aggie yells and I still have a soft spot for OU; I understand my opinion may not be shared by all.  But Texas A&M is my school, and my collegiate saga gives me a uniquely level-headed view of the Aggies.

Basketball will always be my sport.  I didn't play football in high school (although I did play one hilariously ineffective season in 8th grade), but I've watched enough Friday Night Lights episodes and played enough games of Madden to know one indisputable fact: when you play too conservative and don't play to win, you're more than likely going to lose.  However, that statement seems to go against every conservative bone in Texas A&M's hypothetical body lately.  After making eerily Nostradamus-like predictions to Rob and Ty during the Aggie-Razorbacks game on Saturday (I knew we lost the game almost immediately in the third quarter and was willing to make outrageous bets after punting near midfield on 4th and short leading 35-20), I was once again left wondering where our school went wrong, all while reading predictably brutal Facebook statuses.  (Most of them unoriginal..."Welcome to the SEC"?  Thank you.)  Bottom line, A&M has been foolish these past few weeks (and the coaching staff might need to man up...not to mention a certain guy who has an affection for bow-ties).

Judging from my half-joking attempts to be a hipster, it's pretty easy to not be in favor of what is becoming all things Longhorn.  How can anyone defend the Longhorn network?  Congrats to the university for being able to pull that behemoth deal off, but are Longhorn fans (or as I've been recently told, "t-shirt t-sips") really that surprised that the rest of the nation is less-than-thrilled whenever "Longhorns" is an ESPN bottom line squished between "NCAA Football" and "NFL"?  I'd love to believe in conspiracies about ESPN painting A&M in a negative light now that they are in bed with UT (although we're doing a great job of doing that ourselves lately), but I could really care less.  It's pretty telling when most of my friends and family refuse to buy the Network anyway. At the end of the day Red, the most diehard Longhorn fan I know, sums everything up best (and worst) when he legitimately boasted, "It's good to be King."  (My dad gets better with age.)

I am fairly excited about the move to the SEC.  I'm glad that we are being proactive and not waiting around to see what Texas and Oklahoma do.  I'm grateful that even if we have it rough in the SEC (which at this point seems inevitable), we are a prominent enough university to be invited to the best football conference in the nation.  And who knows, maybe someday the students will break away from the inferiority complex with UT.  (I can hope, right?)

One thing that gets lost in the mix is just how great Texas A&M University is as a whole.  You'd be pretty hard-pressed to find a campus full of more genuinely gracious people.  Heartbreak or not, the Aggies are in it together.

And I'm not talking about football.

(For the record, Reveille does not have rabies.)

-PB

Thursday Tracks With Ryan

I am back from the abyss; also known as life in a new apartment without cable/internet.  Since my last post, Charging Interests has changed drastically.  First, Nick went full-on German socialist with his music recommendations, followed abruptly by the first post written by a woman... from OHIO... I think I now know the pure hatrid my dad Red felt when I told him I didn't like his beloved Longhorns anymore. 

[I'm completely kidding.  Bunce's taste in music, minus the German techno, is top-notch and I couldn't be more excited to have my outlandishly intelligent pal Alya brighten up our clumsy site.  Also, Red has handled everything with more class than I can ever dream of.]

I think Nick is on to something here, so I've decided to shamelessly steal his idea.  Without further ado, here are 5 songs that I've been listening to lately.

1. Midnight Confessions - The Grass Roots


Classic American rock.  Let's all join together as we rub this in Bunce's face....USA! USA!

Originally, I planned to post the far more patriotic "America the Beautiful" by The Rascals but was unable to find it on YouTube, so I went on to the next song/band I have been obsessed with from the old record collection I inherited from my dad.  If nothing else, be in awe as you watch The Creed Bratton rock out on guitar: he is the guitarist on the left!

2. Love is All - The Tallest Man on Earth


I follow up my act of patriotism with a song by a little-known Swedish songwriter.  My friend T.Whitt showed me this guy back in college ("back in college" has become increasingly more normal to say, which in turn has made things very strange) and while I absolutely loved the strumming, I'm assuming I'm not the only one who is a little put off by his scratchy vocals (T.Whitt's girlfriend Kelsie went as far as to call him "The Most Annoying Man on Earth".)  So go ahead and write him off for a few months, but unlike Tobias Funke, give this guy a second chance....he deserves it.

3. You Can't Lose What You Never Had - Muddy Waters


I wish I had this kind of swagger.  This song/video is incredible and the lyrics are strikingly relevant to me and my occasionally hopeless romantic self. Also, I hope I'm not the only one who is incredibly impressed by how intricate these camera shots were for what appears to be a live show in the '60s.

4. Swim Until You Can't See Land - Frightened Rabbit


Frightened Rabbit has the impressive distinction of sounding even better live (based on their live albums) than in studio.  Besides this song being amazing, it reminds me of a story I have from a very familiar locale in Charging Interests lore: the Hydra.  A few of us wise gentleman thought it would be a great idea to swim across Lake Travis in the middle of the night to the other side of the lake.  It's a very interesting story involving Rickesh getting lost in the dark abyss of the lake, walking up twenty-five feet of jagged rock barefoot, and ChiChi and I stumbling across a legitimate girls' topless party across the lake...but the story is too good to tell in brief here.  Sorry for the teaser, but maybe someday soon I'll write more about it.  Maybe.

5. Little Garcon - Born Ruffians


So 3 of my 5 songs were not from American bands...classic.  At least they were English?! A la Bunce and Chuck Klosterman, here is a second-by-second rundown of my thought process while I listened to Little Garcon:

0:00-1:00: This song sounds like it has potential.  Nothing can go wrong with a harmonica in the background, amiright?

1:00-1:40: Wow, my love for this song is getting out of hand; how can I legally download this?

1:40-2:05: Okay, I'm not sure where the lead singer is taking this, he is slightly off-key.  Is this the live version of the song or something?  That's okay, it'll get back on track soon...

2:05-2:40: Yikes...what is this...?

2:40-3:30: Uh oh.......

3:30-4:10: Eff you, Born Ruffians.

-PB